What am I doing wrong, that I can't get a date?

I'm in my mid-20s, and I have never been on a single date; the few times things have gotten physical were when lots of alcohol was involved and I was pretty much the only option for someone desperate. Not to sound conceited, but I think I'm pretty smart, kinda funny, and I am fairly "average" looking (brown hair, hazel eyes; not a supermodel, but I don't quite think I need a bag over my head; a little chubby but not obese; decent boobs...) However nobody has ever asked me out, and when I've tried to initiate things I get shut down. Of course you do not know me in person, but do any of you know any behaviors or looks I might be doing unintentionally that is sending a "no" message?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When I hear about a girl having problems like this, I think she isn't giving enough signals to guys (smiling, eye contact, playful touching, etc.)

    • Thank you! I guess I get really nervous/shy when it comes to that kind of thing - always afraid of overstepping my bounds, I suppose - so I will have to work harder on showing that. I appreciate your thoughts!

    • Glad I was able to help!

      Now go flirt with some guys. ;-)

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's got to be your interpersonal skills.
    Your body language could be very closed.
    You could be extremely quiet in social settings.

    Did you take a speech class in college? Do you converse well will with strangers when you're at a party or social gathering? Are you okay pitching into a group discussion or do you have to have someone one-on-one to ever say anything?

    • Well, I did take interpersonal communications/speech classes, but I guess it didn't help enough, haha. I am fairly shy, but I do participate in group settings! I guess I just need to try and be more outgoing. Thanks for your opinion!

  • Judging from you picture you have cute eyes but the extra weight is making your chin look much worse that it potentially can. You have a lot of potential to be really cute.

    Apart from looks, take a look at your body position at different times of day. Do you have your arms closed off and a look of frustration/annoyance on your face? Or are you smiling and have an open body language? Are you really tall?

    If your chin was a bit more defined I'd definitely pay you a visit if I saw you in a bar or club. And my threshold of whom I approach is pretty high.

    • lol that is a really bad photo, my friend and I were goofing off and pretending to fall out of these funny trees at a nature park, so it is at a really bad angle - but thank you for all the compliments, you are very sweet :)

      I think I do have a "resting bitch face" as they say... I will have to try to remember that, yikes!

      [and yes, I am currently working on shedding a few extra pounds, so there is that.]

      thanks again for the opinion! :D

  • What do you like to do for fun?

    • I think my problem is what I DON'T like to do for fun - I'm not much for the clubbing/bar scene, where I know everyone gets their "liquid courage," so that makes things harder for me I guess. I do go out to places with friends and such, but I'm a big nature nut and am more likely to be, for example, hiking nature trails nearby than going out drinking, haha. I guess I just have to get out there more!

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    • Sounds like a valid suggestion, but we'll see. Thanks for the honesty :P

    • Go get 'em tigress!

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