Getting mixed signals and my hopes were up... then I got hurt. Why guys do that?

I really understand the "he's just not that into you" rationale but I guess it's hard to see it at work for real. I first met this guy online and i felt pretty strongly about him pretty quickly but he didn't feel much there with me so we became friends. I slowly accepted the idea and we got along really well as friends. About a month or so ago things took a turn toward the romantic ways when we went out to see a show and he suddenly saw me as a "more than friends" material. Of course I was happy about that. Since then we started talking way more frequently, almost daily, and our conversations got more flirty and such. We also started sending each other pictures every now and then and sometimes sexted.

I think guys' action speaks louder than words here. He would get really smitten when we were chatting, sometimes mentioned that he saw promising prospects for us, he rarely talked about the ex he's still getting over anymore, it was easy to talk about making plans, doing trips and getting together, he made efforts to see me although couldn't a couple of times, he made sure to connect with me still even when he went on a trip to visit family. He just appeared quite engaged and interested. However, a red flag jumped out when he told me that he's not really into a serious relationship right now with "so much going on" and also the recent ending of his last relationship. When we finally got together we had sex and although in some ways I don't regret it because I like him enough, I can't help but wonder I "gave that up" and the excitement for his chase is over.

I had a friend gauge some information out of him and confirmed that he's still just not that into me, that he likes me fine and all but still just enough attraction. Also, there's a girl in his class that he's REALLY interested in now and he's more into pursuing her now. I feel kinda hurt and being led on. Now I fee like I don't even know how to be friends with him anymore.


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What Guys Said 2

  • you had sex with him. his advancements were clearly leading towards that, sexting and all. it didn't really seem like mixed signals towards the end based on your description. he just wasn't so into you in the way you wanted, but was willing to still fuck you, so he slid his foot in the door enough to do that, then left.

  • We do it to crush your soul. Is it working?


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