If I want casual flings with "exciting" people (in clubs/online-dating, etc), do I need to lose my glasses?

I know full-well that glasses can be attractive on men in a more romantic/classy sense... but for fast-paced flings/clubs/online-dating, will girls just take one look at me and then dismiss me? I am aware that the whole "GLASSES R 4 NERDS" thing is a shallow stereotype. But I am not talking about finding the love of my life, here. I'm talking about having some casual fun for once, so if I need to be shallow then I'm damn well going to be.

HOWEVER, I'm a little scared to lose the glasses in case they're actually the only thing making me look interesting to anyone at all. I say this because I'm 5'9" tall and I don't have a beard. In other words, I'll be getting dismissed by most confident club-goers on those grounds anyway. So bearing that in mind, do you think the glasses would actually become my only chance?

I know nothing about women so please be thoroughly honest. I'm a university-graduated virgin, so it's way too late to be receiving sugar-coated answers! If the answer is "you don't stand a chance with girls in those settings, full-stop" then so be it. I just need to know.

Thanks for reading my stupid question :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Do you *need* the glasses? If you can't see without them, wear them.
    2. Do your glasses complement your looks? Unless you have NHS frames, you probably picked something that looks good on you. Get second and third opinions on whether you look better with or without.

    Pulling isn't just about the glasses anyway, it's about the whole package so you need nice clothes, nice hair and a lot of luck. Having some fun friends with you means you can be having a good time and the girls will see you from a distance enjoying yourself, and THAT is attractive. If you have a friend who's very good at this stuff, get him to drag you up to girls as he does his thing because they invariably have a friend who they will insist on finding a guy for before they go home with your saucy mate.

    PROTIP: Take them with you, with a decent case that will survive being sat on or otherwise crushed. That way you can take them off and stash them in your back pocket should the mood take you.

    • Yeah I do need to be focusing on those other parts of the package more, for sure. Unfortunately though, being on the bad side of university (and not really having any friends like what you described) makes me think I'll be flying relatively solo for a lot of this. That's a big reason why I'm starting to look at online dating, too. In any case though thanks for your reply. I'll continue to gather opinions from people about whether glasses work on me. Might even post pictures on this site some time and just get a mass poll going with objective strangers!

    • Going out on the pull solo takes a lot of nerve, usually I just stand there for a few drinks before deciding I hate my life and going back home. Any sort of friends you can socialize with is good, as is work colleagues (and it's that time of year).

      Online has worked really well for me, get some good pictures, get a body shot, write a brief but amusing and honest profile. It involves nearly as much leaps of faith as going out and doing it for real, except at least you're not face to face with some stunning creature when she rejects you.

      Many of my profile pics (as in: the only good pics taken of me, ever) have me with glasses and I've had girls off dating sites ask where they glasses are! I don't need em all the time so usually they're in their case in my pocket.

    • Yeah definitely a lot of nerve. I usually go the drink-and-run-away route too - when I'm out with friends and then try splitting off from the herd for a bit (due to thinking, inexplicably, that I will succeed). However my confidence is coming along in leaps and bounds lately (well... "Leaps and bounds" meaning it is no longer perpetually at zero); so hopefully I can eventually acquire that nerve.

      And that's really good to hear about your experience with online dating by the way! I just sat here smiling for a bit when I read "girls ask where the glasses are!". I'm going to find a glasses case as you say, and try to get the same best-of-both-worlds routine in action, I think. My current case is essentially a brick.

      Thanks for another reply!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I have a glasses fetish, if it were. I think they're sexy. Not all women are like me. A lot of women don't find glasses sexy at all.

    So if you think it's hurting your chances, take it off. By estimating general consensus I'd say it's a minor turn off, but not a deal breaker.

    • Thanks for your reply. It's comments like that which are making me think glasses would be the better choice just in case there is a girl with that fetish in the club. She'd probably be able to make out the dark rims from the other side of a room, and everything.

    • I'm envisioning you as Clark Gable now, be warned.

    • Hahah, I am okay with this.

What Guys Said 1

  • Keep your glasses. Cosplay mad scientist.

    • Ha, that's certainly one way of looking at it!

    • Show All
    • Yeah I can definitely see the sense in that! I do hope you're right, thanks for your reply.

    • Good luck!