He doesn't text back and I am really upset... How to handle?

Been dating a guy for a few months and I am curious if he honestly looks at this phone when I text and blatantly just puts it down and ignores me. It is driving me up a wall. All I asked, via text, was a question about his likes or dislikes towards tomatoes because I was headed to the grocery store for grocerys so I can make him dinner this week. And nothing, all day... Yet he is on Facebook and what not.

I kind of want to ask him in those exact words what's up? I am to the point of throwing up my hands when this happens because I feel very disrespected.

I know he doesn't like them on things but wasn't sure if it was an overall dislike or just the texture. Not wanting to cook him something he wouldn't t like...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Putting on my relationship coaching hat: Although some will note that it's not a big deal since it's "only about tomatoes", it is in fact disrespectful. And here's why:

    1) Acknowledgement in communication is something we all expect--even if we're not big phone talkers or texters.
    2) You're asking a question with an unselfish end-state in mind (you cooking him dinner)

    I do think you should raise the issue to him because if you don't, you're setting a standard that you're okay with this lack of response. And regardless of what the subject is, you will (and should) take issue with the lack of response and when we don't address things we take issue with, they become bigger than they initially were. Sooner rather than later, you end up being resentful about a lot of things and he ends up obliviously selfish and incommunicative.

    • Thank you. In a non argumentative tone you think when I go to his house tomorrow night I can ask that? Those words played in the beginning of the question?

    • Do something called presumptive communication. Such as: "I can only imagine something happened to your phone yesterday since you never replied to my text."

      This is effective because when you ask it in a question like "why didn't you answer my text", you put him in a defensive posture. Asking it the way I suggested makes him aware you noticed and forced a non-defensive and non yes or no response. Now--if you ask it that way and he get's mad, be presumptive again: "So, I'm not sure why you're upset and I guess if the tables were turned, you'd be okay with me ignoring your communication?"

    • Well I was thinking of going there as I typically would, cuddle up with him as usual, & then purpose a question. When I ask it would be something along the lines of, "I am just curious what it is that goes through your mind when you receive a text from me... do you honestly forget to respond or is it a *sigh* and *eye roll* and you choose to ignore me?"


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