Advice for a male 26 year old Incel (Involuntary Celebrant)?

Hey, thanks for considering my question. No one likes reading mini-novels, so here we go:I'm just out of college (so between jobs, atm). I'm in good shape-distance run several times a week. I've only kissed two different girls, made out with one them (the last one was at age 20).

I am *not* waiting for marriage or long-term relationship, nor do I have any interest.

And I can't/won't get a prostitute. That is so counter-productive at this point. It would teach me nothing aside from if I pay a woman something, she'll have sex with me. It's not cute or adventurous as it would be for someone under 24.

The conflict is that with my age, it is harder to find someone to relate to, and those who can't relate give conflicting advice.. From "it's not a big deal [I have sex all the time]" to (usually from someone older, who lost their vcard young) "put your work first, everything else will fall into place."

I feel like I've missed the boat to be up to speed how most people in moderate minded North American culture are. So now I gotta suffer the consequence as why would a woman hook up or date me when there are plenty of other guys who have had sex-experienced?

Anyone got any advice or anything?

I admire the fact if your lifestyle choice is to wait for a long-term relationship or marriage, but I do not really want to hear from you.

Also, I keep getting conflicting on if I should tell her that I am still a virgin. Half say Yes because she should know, and half say No because that might be a real turn off. I don't feel right if I start dating someone and I keep a secret from like that, but I do not feel it is necessary to mention it unless she asks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to learn how to approach women with confidence. Since you're in shape, your looks will help you immensely.

    Try this little experiment. This will help you get used to talking to women. For the next 6 weeks, make it a priority to smile at 12 women you find attractive that you don't know and mouth "hi" or "hey". You will get weird looks. You will get ignored. But some will respond positively. This will help desensitize you to rejection.

    For the next 6 weeks after that, follow the "hey" with a innocent compliment. Don't go "man, you are beautiful" - beautiful women know they're beautiful... they're told that by every thirsty guy they see. Something like "your hair is beautiful"... or "that dress looks great on you".

    By that time you'll hopefully have some confidence and experience to go talk to women and engage them in further discussions.

    I don't think you mention your virginity too soon. It's not a "lie" to omit that information. If you're to the point where you're into heavy making out, and clothes are starting to come off, I think then is a good time to mention it.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I would prefer to know that you are a virgin. I think guys like you are rare and hard to find. i have no idea on what advice to give you, since I'm bad with guys in general.


What Guys Said 2

  • I go with "tell her" that you're inexperienced, so she's not expecting fireworks and being disappointed.

  • you just gotta put yourself out there more man, go outta your way to meet girls