I've been casually been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks, what is proper texting etiquette that isn't gonna seem needy or nagging?

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now. We've gone out, hung out a few times and have another date coming up. We've both agreed it's a casual, open "relationship". We hold good conversations both in person and in text. Sometimes when we're texting, I feel like I'm nagging him or he's just not that interested. I just want to know what is "proper" or what guys find annoying when a girl is texting them. I don't send a million texts if I don't get a reply, I just wait impatiently thinking into it way more than I should be. Help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am going to speak from a personal point of view rather than trying to generalize for all guys here.

    Personally, I don't really enjoy texting. For me, it is simply a method to convey a small amount of information without having to make too much effort. Things like: I will be there in 5, can't speak I am in class, etc. Usually if I have more to say I might send them one that reads: are you free to talk?
    I sexted once, and I admit it was fun, but I did not initiate, and I wouldn't either, I don't think it is wrong or anything, it just isn't something that I would initiate unless I knew my partner wanted me to. So maybe just ask him what texting means to him. I know there's been times that I will keep a conversation going, but it becomes irritating to constantly check, and maintain a timely back and forth. I usually try to just say I'm busy when it gets to that point and say a polite goodbye, so she doesn't think it was her fault, lol!

    I have never had the experience of a girl texting me and then thinking to myself "this girl is needy/nagging me," but I suppose it depends on the contexts of your texts... In my mind, texting is just a thing people do these days, and, sorry to be sexist, something that girls do especially. But in terms of needy, I guess you should try not to say things like "Are you there?" or "Did I say something wrong?" or anything along the lines of "Do you not like me?" or "Am I bugging you?"

    That being said, I much rather have a conversation actually talking on the phone, with undivided attention, for 30 mins or whatever, rather than doing something else and having to break from it constantly to check my phone...

    If you just ask him what his relationship to texting is, it might clarify what is exactly going on here. If it really bugs you, you can tell him that you would like him to text you more... But I hope if it bothers him you can compromise and just call him at night, or just text less? Did I help?

    • I think he would be coming from more your mind set or at least that's what I'm hoping for. I'm not that girl to send the constant "are you there?" "Did I say something wrong?" I simply just let him reply at his own will. I know it's nothing serious between us right now so that's why I said I am probably over thinking this whole thing. But thanks for the advice.

    • Show All
    • Trust me, when you date one or two more people, you really get to learn the differences quickly, and when it is all at once, you can't get easily infatuated. Introspect, a lot. Remember keep yourself first at all times! And be really aware of what the sources of your insecurities and jealousy issues are (if you have any), and always always always be honest, and communicative, the two most important aspects of any relationship. You may think you need little white lies to keep everyone happy, but being honest yields best long term results.

    • Good luck! And if it really isn't for you, then don't do it just to impress him or make him think you are all cool with it when you aren't. You are your top priority!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Early in the morning is alright just to say hi or if you work near each other to meet up for lunch. in the afternoon to hopefully say something interesting or to meet up later in the evening and in the evening to talk. For any other reasons is annoying.

  • i don't have a problem with needy women, and i don'd feel nagged by women

  • As someone who gets bored easily i can appreciate your concerns, nagging to me is basically the same as stalking when she has to know what im doing every minute of the day but casual conversation is very much appreciated


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