When is an age gap too much, and a past some heavy baggage?

so, I am 22, and have never been on an actual date until this last Friday . and never had my first kiss till then too. The guy i'm seeing is incredibly sweet to me, texts me every morning to tell me good morning. We get a long pretty well, make each other laugh, and in that department it seems all good. But there are a few concerns.

He's 29 and a father. I don't want to be judgmental, and i don't mind the age, and I love kids... I'm just worried, he could be looking for way more than I am at the moment. Like I said, this could be my first relationship, and not sure i can handle something so serious so fast. My head is telling me to tell him how I feel and that I can't do this right now, and should find someone with less experience than he has, but my heart is telling me that despite appearances he seems to be an amazing sweet man, who will end up caring deeply for me, and I for him... I guess what I'm asking is, would it be worth taking the risk that one of us could get seriously hurt?

  • Are you crazy? You're a baby, run!
    Vote A
  • Slow it down
    Vote B
  • Just be friends if you can
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Start by being just friends, until you know the guy better. You're probably still in college, or beginner in your job. He's making his career (if he succeeds) That's quite a difference.
    Chances are, his ex will hate your guts and let it know the children. You'll have to compose with the children's grandmother too: there's no guarantee she'll like you.

    • Thanks, that does make sense, and what I was thinking. Now my next question would be, how do I let him down?

    • Just say that you've been thinking about the situation and that the age gap AND children AND their mom are too big a step for you to commit to him. He'll know or at least expect something like that. (don't forget that one of the children's grandmothers is the mother of his ex--I wasn't clear enough, when writing that.)

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What Guys Said 3


    That's only 7 years. O-N-L-Y

  • My general rule of thumb is to not date anyone whose old enough to be my mother, though within that limit I really prefer older women.

  • I wouldn't be comfortable going much further than a 7 year age gap.


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