Sorry this will be long but I really need advice please :)
I started talking to a guy a month ago and we became close really fast. He was telling me how lucky he was and how perfect I am etc and we would text a lot. We had sex the fourth date even though I wanted to wait (he initiated it but it felt right so I did it) and when I got home I mentioned how I've never had sex this early with someone and I wasn't sure how to handle it since we never had "the talk" about what we were. He got mad and ignored me for 2 days then came back
Fast forward to our fifth date he was calling me dude instead of babe and not being a gentleman like normal. So I politely said I don't like being called dude it makes me feel like a friend and I miss him holding doors for me etc. he got angry and I tried to have the talk again about if we were seeing other people or what we were. He got mad and said he couldn't commit due to being hurt by his ex and said just friends. I said if we are just friends then that makes me free to date other guys you know that right? He got so angry he has barely spoken to me in a week and he said he's done with me and can't trust me now.
This whole time I've went out of my way to show him I can be trusted. He compared me mentioning other guys to that would be like him beating me after me telling him I was In an abusive relationship. Which I think he's being dramatic. He's already on tinder trying to find someone else. He said I was nagging him and I'm untrustworthy. Am I at fault here and do you think he will realize he's making a mistake? I'm a quiet shy girl I don't start arguments yet he thinks I am. Thank you!
Most Helpful Guy
Ok so I made it through your story here and I am happy to share my opinion with you.
I think you are will within reason here and nothing that you have said is out of line or is unfair at all. And the way he responded to you seems childish, immature, and manipulative.
If he wants to be just "friends" and not commit then he has no right to expect commitment from you and for you not to be seeing other guys. This clearly invoked a negative emotional reaction from him in which he used anger and some words to try and manipulate you to accommodate his own selfish reasons.
Saying that you seeing other men in a non committed relationship would be like him beating you after you had been in an abusive relationship is honestly, well, just plain retarded. It makes 0 sense. And actually it's a little disturbing.
Don't sell yourself short and fall victim to this guy, seems to me like you deserve more than that. He is not making an effort to be fair to you at all and his arguments hold no weight.
Anywhoo, thats my opinion hope you might find it useful.0