I'm telling him I like him - so how do I say it?

I have it bad for one of my best guy friends. While we haven't dated, we have a weird history. It's been almost 3 years, nothing serious has happened between us and I'm tired of waiting to move forward. The last while has been agony for me, causing me a lot of stress and frustration, so I need to bite the bullet and tell him. But how do I say it?

A couple of things to consider:

-I'm going in with the expectation that he won't reciprocate, but I don't want to put words in his mouth (ie, "I know you don't like me").

-We're both grown adults, so is it really appropriate to say "I like you"? And if not, how do you say it?

-I want to be very clear with what I'm saying - the last thing I want is to walk away not knowing what just happened.

I'm determined to do this face to face, as much as it will be awkward for both of us. I guess I'd like to know what the best way to approach the situation is, and if anyone who has actually done this before can give advice, that would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance!


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What Guys Said 2

  • If I were you I might say something like: "I like you as more than a friend. I'm wondering how you feel about being more than friends."
    I should point out that, in the general sense, the chances a guy would maintain a friendship with a girl that he doesn't have a crush on and have feelings for, are extremely low. Extremely low. This is not me speaking this is a known both in common sense and in scientific literature. Why do you think he doesn't reciprocate your feelings?
    Now from personal experience. Any girl I keep a friendship with is free to pursue romance with me whenever she feels like doing so. Exceptions are: Girls married, engaged, or dating any of my friends, or girls for whom our friendship is based on purely professional grounds.
    Go get him!

    • He's very hot & cold. One day there will be a lot of flirting and sexual tension, the next he's giving me the cold shoulder. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't care much at all, but then he'll bring up some random moment that happened between us years ago, things I never thought he'd remember. He's just really hard to read, which is why I don't know if he is interested or not.

      Thanks for your input!

    • I'm glad you appreciate the feedback. About his hot/cold on/off flirting behavior: I'm sorry if this is crass, but It might be related to whether he's gotten any recently (and/or masturbation patterns/timing). I, for one, flirt more when my heads agree with each other and this depends on amount of horny which is related to #time since I last got some.

  • Ask him out on a date. Let him know your feelings for him. See where it goes.


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