Can a reconnecting with an ex and developing a friendship lead to more?

I dated a man for 2 months, we agreed to stay in touch from time to time. We did, then had a few months where we didn't... not sure why, but I was ok because I knew I needed to move on from the role of his former romantic interest.. Anyway, he got back in touch and we text occasionally and meet for coffee every few weeks. This has been happening for about 4 months.

I feel our relationship is even more connected now, and we have told one another how much we value our friendship.

Could this path of dating, breakup, not being in touch for a while, then developing a friendship-which feels very connected, even more than when we dated-lead to getting back together?

The friendship is very balanced, we both initiate contact and plan meet ups.

I am ok with either outcome, and I am not in the friendship with the intention of getting back together. He is a wonderful person and having him in my life in any capacity is something I want very much.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced this pattern and did it work out well?

We are not seeing anyone else exclusively.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you initiate contact equally, i believe he might be still interested in you and your friendship. Though, if i were in your shoes, i wouldn't fill my mind with the hope or possibility of getting back together, dating or etc. Most guys are pretty straight and direct in their attitudes. If they state they value the friendship it generally means they only think about friendship.
    We wonen on the other hand like to interpret a lot about the meanings of the words, sentences, behaviors etc. So we like to think about possibilities more instead of enjoying the present. My suggestion to you is not to fall into this pitfall of being friends with an ex. If you start acting like you can get back together or you are his future gf, you can scare him off.

    I have had the same situation with my ex-ex. We are just friends, we said the same things you said and we both initiate contact equally. But we both know it won't lead to anything in the future. You should clarify with him. By not asking directly of course, but by leaving it to time. If it is the iniation of something, it will happen. Otherwise you will stay as friends. dont overthink, dont pressure yourself to understand the meanings etc.

    Leave your life, do what you wanna do, be kind with him when contacting and try understanding him, show affection as a friend... if he wants to initiate then it will happen. Good luck.

    • This is so helpful. It is hard to keep from dreaming and thinking of a future as a couple. To keep my mind in the present I will focus on enjoying my friendship with him. If friendship is all it will ever be, I am grateful for that. Things will work out as they are meant to. Thanks again.

    • Live* your life.. not leave for god's sake.. I should not comment before i sleep lol.
      As i said it is normal to dream of some stuff because your memories are coming back... And remember when you move on from someone, the aim is to be able to live happily without the person, not totally forget the good time you had. So that is good you just kept the good thing about him and having nice dreams. But dont interpret dreams that much. In the end they are just our meaningless stories of our subconscious. Dont be fooled with it ! :)