How can I trust a guy again?

My first boyfriend & I only dated for 4.5 months. I was (still am technically) & virgin & told him this & explained how I was inexperienced & wanted to take things slow before we even stared dating. He told me he would. 3 months in, we were drunk & he tried raping me. I told him to stop, but he wouldn't. I felt guilty bc i blue balled him & pisse him off & thats why he did it. I figured he was just drunk & wouldn't do it again... Month later, he did it again, this time sober & I just laid next to him, wanting to cuddle.

I tried talking to him about it, but he wouldn't listen & turned it all around, blaming me for our troubles BC I was so selfish & crabby. He didn't even acknowledge or even apologize! Then he quit talking to me for 2 months. Cold turkey. After going to his mother, wondering what the hell was going on, he finally FBmessaged me & broke up w/ me, still adiment that it was my fault.

How do I not have this happen again? How can I trust another guy? Am I shallow/immature for thinking this way or worrying about this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • OK. First of all, you were clear at the outset regarding your intentions. Even if you hadn't been, it doesn't justify attempted rape.


    It's a very good thing you got away from him, and keep in mind that shows good judgement on your part.

    Regarding your question: guys who will attempt sexual assault are actually a small minority. I know that doesn't necessarily help you regarding your current skittishness, but only experience with other guys who *aren't* that way will help with perspective.


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  • Stop drinking.


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