Opinions would help a lot , criticism would work too?

Let's start off with I'm 16 and I'm pushing 400 lbs but I mean I don't think I look it at all and same with others I even get complements on how well I carry my weight, I really don't have a lot of experience with girls with pretty much anything I mean I'm not new to making out and what not but everything else its just kinda... yeah , anyway I really don't care about any of that anyway (sexual ) I can honestly say I just want a emotional and spiritual experience with a girl one that is so connected and intertwined does that sound like too much? Pretty much all my time would be devoteted to her I don't have a lot of friends Im talking count all of them on one hand , now granted I do have standards its not to much to ask you ain't got to put on make up do your hair , all I ask is basic hygiene.. again I ask is that too much , I don't judge anyone because the way I see it is I'm in no room at all to judge , I'm an open book so no secrets , I have a good sense of humor I mean I can make almost anyone laugh , I'm faithful , like why cheat your with that person for a reason what am I doing wrong? If I you want to ask more to make a hypothesis please feel free


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think your question is... "How do I get in a position to meet someone that loves me and that I can love back?" assuming that is the question I have some thoughts for you.

    I always tell people, how can you expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself. Now I am not saying that you don't love yourself, I don't know you. However I am asking you to take a step and think about if you are confident and if not, why not. Then I want you to think about what you need to do to gain confidence.

    Secondly you need to keep in mind a relationship is about balance between two people. Both of you need to offer things to the other. If one of you is TOO STRONG or TOO WEAK then things tip the wrong way. You both need to be able to give and receive from one another. Do you feel that you can do that, or are you just going to be taking? Or just giving? If you are always taking eventually the other feels they are taken advantage of. If you are always giving eventually you feel you are been taken advantage of. Are you in the position to give and take? If not think about what that means and you need to do to change.

    You mentioned weight... so I will too. My friend you are too big. NOW FINISH READING before you get upset :-) I am 6'7" and weigh around 275 lbs. I was injured very badly and put on a lot of weight during that time. Because I am so tall I do carry weight well, but the truth of the matter was I was too big, unhealthy and I knew it. So I did something about it. I took baby steps at first. I started walking three miles a day, 6 days a week. I also stopped eating fast food except for one fast food meal a week. I started losing weight and started feeling better. So then I stepped up and started working out more and stopped eating fast food. I lost more weight and took bigger steps. In the end I lost 75 lbs and am in the best shape of my entire life. I am ripped, can run. climb, lift, etc. This is something else to think about. You can do it!

    • That actually was the question I just couldn't think how to phrase it right , there's some days my confidence is like "hell yeah I'm sexy" and other days its just like "look at yourself , what have you become " its a bunch of different factors that affect my confidence , I really can't answer that one maybe give me more on the giving and taking , why would I get mad I put it on here to get criticism on it that would be stupid if I got mad because you had the desensy to even take time of yours and give me advice , what would you recommend for the begening process to weight loss , find something better to do? Oh yeah what did your parents feed you when you were younger I'm only 5,8-5,9

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    • And thank you for the encouragement its good to have somebody having faith in me

    • The poster above ValorM is right. Make sure you do it for you.. but you are. And yes I have faith in you. You are going to have good days and days you don't do as well as you would like. That is life. The trick is to keep going. Everyone falls, but what makes a man is that he gets up again and keeps going. No matter how many times he falls. And he learns from it. So one final piece of advice. Take the 5 min it take to plan your day. if you know when you are going to go for a walk and when and what you are going to eat, it is much easier to follow the plan than if you don't know and wing it. When you wing, it that is when you mess up. One other thing... the HARDEST time is the first week or so. you can do ANYTHING for a week. And once you get through the first week, you realize... i did it once. Now i can do it again!

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What Girls Said 2

  • There is a girl that is perfect for you out there. In the meantime, reach out to girls that you think you might have something in common with. It could turn into something beautiful.

  • A lot of girls these days are dense and see weight as a deal breaker or they won't even try to get to know you. Firstly, love should be blind. If girls don't want you as it they aren't worth it. You have to be patient, and you're young. There's still time to find your gem. If you plan on losing weight, don't do it for girls, do it for you. If you want something badly enough you'll do what you have to to change it. Just make sure your motivation is worth it.

    • Ain't that the truth , that how I am with pretty much anyone I come across in my life "you don't like me , you don't need to know me" I just don't really have a connection with anyone anymore and it hurts , I know I do need to change even if I did lose weight its not an automatic chick magnet , I geuss I don't want to change subconsciously because I would have put a lot more effort after the first couple days I just kinda give up and listen to my stomach not my head

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    • Anymore trying to make friends is troublesome mainly because I don't like people trying to be something there not when I meet someone I have nothing but the up most respect for them until they show there true face or faces , and kinda the same thing as "I'd rather be hated for me than loved for who I'm not " and I like how you put that that was deep, I also want to say thank you for sparring time for me and giveing me advice

    • You're welcome and good luck!

What Guys Said 1

  • Being your weight will get you an early grave. Please see a doctor.

    • Yes I know this , I have the doctor says I'm actually healthier than I should be I weigh so much because I only have one kidney and my mom , which I can't blame her she didn't know , didn't start me off on a proper diet when I was younger (I'm not to sure on the link between the two but I just know that bit) so it just stayed with me

    • He didn't ask for your "medical opinion", just for some dating advice.

    • I don't mind criticism I wouldn't know what to work on if I'm not told