Can you say double standard?

I'm a very open minded person or at least I try
to be. I know when it comes to dating and what ages
are appropriate together and which ones aren't,
there may be varying opinions. However, in this
question it's more about the double standard then
it is about anything else.

So, I saw a question last night from a 14yr old
girl who's dating a guy who's 20 and asking what
people thought about it. I didn't read the whole
thing, but what I did read everybody was calling
her boyfriend names and telling her she was too
young to be dating someone that old.

Then I saw a question today where 17yr old girl
said she and this 30yr old like each other and
want to date, she wanted to know if that was too much
of a age gap. What I read of that people were
telling her she should go for it and basically, that
age is just a number.

So, tell me. How is okay for a 30yr old man (who is
an adult) to date a 17yr old girl. But, it's not okay
for a 20yr old guy (who is still technically just still
a young kid himself) to date a 14yr old girl. What is
the difference, because I don't see one? What I do
see, is a HUGE double standard here. So, please
enlighten me how is a 30yr old going after 17yr old
not creepy or wrong but a 20yr old dating a 14yr old
is? I really love to know the answer.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally I think both relationships are inappropriate.

    (14 year old and 20 year old) The 14 year old is underage and still a child. She's going through puberty and is still trying to figure out her identity. The 20 year old is in college, most likely still trying to figure out what career path he wants to take. Even though they're both young, one is underage and still a child. The 20 year old is floating between teenage years and being a young adult.

    (17 year old and 30 year old) Most likely the 17 year old is still in high school or just joined college. The 30 year old is done with school, has a stable career. He's independent. He basically has his life figured out. They are in two different life stages. The 17 year old is just starting to figure out what is in the adult world. At 17, you don't know what you want. You may think you know it all but you don't. More than likely, you still depend on your parents. It feels like the 30 year old is taking advantage of the 17 year old because she's young and naive.

    I don't agree with either relationships.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm on your side. I'm creeped out by both pairings. Maybe the thinking is that a 17 year old has an awareness of men that a 14 year old lacks. Sure, that's true.
    What they fail to ask is "what is the likelihood that a 30 year old man has the best interest of a 17 year old girl foremost?" At 17 you're more mature but you still need time to enjoy some life experiences rather than pairing with a 30 year old man (who may have just crawled out of his mom's basement).

  • Age gaps can matter but aren't immoral.

    Adults dating kids is in most people's eyes.

    People disagree about where the like is. But most probably think later than 14.

  • To me, both relationships are inappropriate. Dating is not just about age, but more about maturity. Just as I also think some people in their 20's and 30's should not be dating, because they have not learned how to treat their partner with respect. I am not sure whey someone people would feel one relationship is ok, and yet another is not.

    I can understand your need for inquiry. I often do not understand the logic of others. Sometimes I feel like Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men. lol.

  • Well i think that women do mature much quicker than men so you could say that a 20 yr old dating a 35 yr old male could fit and seems to be more and more common, but a 14 yr old Girl is just that a girl not a women and i would say that it would be inapropiate for a girl that age to be dating anyone older than 16/or just 17 in my own opinion

  • I don't really care about either. People can do what they want, I can't be bothered with trivial legal technicalities when people are by nature different and develop and mature at different rates.


What Girls Said 0

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