He is my boyfriend but won't do anything with me? :(?

We have been dating for almost three weeks... actually not even dating! We haven't even been on a date before but we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Apparently he's always really busy. And I'm busy too but I have free time! But there is a school dance next week (Friday the 12th) and when I brought it up and asked if he was going to go (implying with me) he instantly was like "No I'm busy" so blatantly... It was super off putting and I really want to go! And I told him before that I don't want to be committed until qw hang out! I'm upset, and really want to go or at least finally hang out with him. What should I do?

until we hang out*** oops haha


Most Helpful Girl

  • You seem young, but eventually you'll learn that later: Some guys like to have a girl "on the side", which means that you flatter his ego since you're so eager to hang out with him, but he doesn't really care about you per se.
    I'm sorry sweetie, but I think you should let him go. You're only here for the girlfriend title, and you deserve better. There are guys that will do anything to spend time with YOU. And you'll realize this one was no good for you.
    Besides, as soon as he'll notice that he doesn't have your full attention anymore, he might get confused and then he's going to be the one seeking your attention.
    But the most important thing for you is to get out of this situation with your head high. You don't need him in your life.

    • Okay thanks! And yeah I'm pretty young but not that young. I'm 15 and he is 17

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    • You shouldn't have told him that :/ but only because you should have been the one to break it off. But what's done is done and I hope you'll meet a guy who'll make you understand what I mean. :) Good luck

    • Thanks

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Doesn't sound like you're as together as you think you are. STop calling it dating, he's not your boyfriend.

    • He always calls me his girlfriend and always refers to himself as my boyfriend

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    • Absolutely. And if he doesn't agree to changing, then it might be time to go.

    • Okay thanks!

  • That's two strikes. If he puts his interests before yours another time I recommend breaking up.

    • Okay thank you! Should I bring it up to him that I'm really upset that we haven't hung out? And try to get him to go to the dance? Or should I just let it be and see if he asks me

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    • Even if it's something which he can't miss (although babysitting doesn't seem to me like such a career) he should at least go out of his way to make a private dance for the two if you when he has free time. But its just easier to call in and explain to the employers that thevdancecreally means something to you, and by extension him and not something he should miss out on.

    • He should be able to miss because its not even really a job, I think he babysits for a family friend or a neighbor

  • Unless you hang out or go on dates ur not really dating

    • Thats what I was thinking, so I told him that and he said "We'll hang out, I swear. It's not you, its my schedule"

What Girls Said 3

  • Well, maybe you shouldn't be dating someone that doesn't have time for you. That's not much more than an acquaintance

    • True, thank you :/

    • I wish you the best, you're going to learn so much about relationships :o Just remember the lessons you learn early on, so that they can help you later :)

    • Okay thanks! Yeah he is my first boyfriend, so I'm expecting it to me scary and confusing.

  • I think you should sit him down and have a talk with him about it. If he won't spend any time with you it's really hard to build a relationship with him.

    • Okay thanks, yeah I'm absolutely dying to hang out with him. I'm always the one asking and then he says he "can't" which I think is weird considering he is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend

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    • Exactly so it's a good thing :)

    • Yeah I guess it is :)

  • Yeah I see a few yellow flags and maybe even a red one.
    Give him some space.
    See what happens.

    • Okay thank you! I usually sit right next to him at lunch, so today I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't. So I sat with him for a while then got up to see another friend and when I got back to my seat, I sat across from him instead. and his friend was teasing him about being abandoned so he asked me to sit next to him again so I did and he put his arm around me.

    • Nice!
      HS can be a social challenge.
      Enjoy it!

    • Thanks! I love high school so far :D