Need some support from like minded people?

November 2013 I was going through a very dark time of my life , I had not long lost my father I was depressed. I joined a dating site looking for someone / friendship. I got chatting to a guy he seemed :) lovely , mad me laugh I felt happy. We chat for a few months everyday we sent each other pictures of our selfs he made me feel so attractive and sexy. I noticed in one of his pictures there were lots of cushions and for two guys who live together I felt this was strange , as he said he lived with his brother. I ask him straight out ! Did he have a gf? He said no !! I asked again and tricked him by saying I wouldn't mind? He then admitted it that he had a gf and daughter , I was gutted ! I kept away but he still messaged me. I know this is wrong but I enjoyed the attention he was giving me he made me feel good. 4 months after chatting everyday etc we decided to meet in person , he drove for over 2 hours to me, we met chatted then kissed , it was so nice it felt right even tho it wasn't. We started meeting up every once a month if he could. Around August this year I started to fall for him , we would argue and this was because I couldn't tell him I loved him. He says he cares for me so much and can't let me go or keep away from me. We are so alike it scares me ! The sex is amazing we share everything even are darkest secrets and we both share the same type of up bringing etc. Even when I've been so frustrated and I've told him to F off and keep away and I've called him some means things? And o threatened to tell his gf about us ! He says he still wants me around and forgives me and if I told his gf he would still like me ! . I would never do that to him but I felt upset to no she is pregnant with there second child. I've tried to end it but it's so hard he says he doesn't want to lose me and still wants to keep things going. We can't let go of each other we are attached to each other !! I don't want him to leave his gf I wouldn't want that but I can'

thos is still carting on over a year later
I'm feeling trapped


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a messy situation and I feel so sorry for the children in all of this because if their family life gets turned upside down then they'll suffer greatly of course.

    I'm also sorry for your loss losing a loved one is hard but that doesn't justify your behavior and you have no right inflicting potential chaos and misery on an 'innocent' woman and two children.

    I'm not sure what your question is because there isn't one, but I would encourage you to either leave this guy alone and cut off all lines of communication with him or give him an ultimatum between you and his girlfriend.

    If you were to get him to separate from his girlfriend and were to become an item I would implore you to sleep with one eye open. If this piece of shit is willing to screw someone behind his pregnant girlfriend's back then you'd have to wonder what he'd do behind your back. Food for thought.

    • The part I find strange is that I've threatened to tell his gf about us and this was out of anger because I coulfntbrealky do that to her or him. But to tell me if I fid he would still like me? If it was the other way around that would've angered me

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    • They have a house together and this would hurt so many people , his gf / child / family etc he's taking a huge risk

    • It would be better for his girlfriend and his children if this was out in the open. His girlfriend could do so much better I am sure and his children could do with a stepfather they can look up to as a role model because this chump certain isn't a role model.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • If you want an opinion...
    If he truly cares about you he will tell his gf/wife that he loves his children and appreciates everything she has done for him but he is in love with another woman.
    You will have to understand that he still needs to communicate with her for the sake of their children and she will have to understand that he has to move on for the better of both of them. This a very difficult situation and i wish you the best

    • Thank you. But he's never told me he loves me I'm very confused :(

    • Maybe he has feelings of lust for you or you just provide something that his wife lacks

  • You're too old for this high school shit.

    He's fucking both of you, do you not care? Do you not have self respect? He's got the best of both worlds while you're a side chick.

    If he really loved you, he'd leave his wife for you. I think he's just bored of his marriage and loves the excitement of cheating. Move on.

    • Yes you are right , but it's very hard to just cut him out of my life. Everyday contact I'm emotionally involved

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    • If you didn't think it would last, why try?

    • Because he's my friend as well

  • I don't know why... but i wish i could inform his wife about your affairs. You both need to be kept in museum as sample.

  • I'm not sure what your question is.

    • I'm feeling trapped

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    • I know but I'm emotionally involved I love him , this is so hard for me

    • I wouldn't tell his gf !! But I said I would out of anger but to tell me he would still like me even if I did tell her?

What Girls Said 3

  • sweatheart, you met him when you were in a very bad place and he filled a bit of the void in you, this is why you got so attached to him.

    but I think he is taking advantage of your vulnerability and only a terrible person would do that.

    please try to spend more time with your friends and loved ones, go out and do things you love, meet new people and try to slowly detach. if not he will only drag you along deeper and as times go by, it will be harder to let go.

    I wish you the best

    • Thank you for your kind words. Why does he want me tho? I'm so confused

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    • if she does tell her, she should be very careful, eventually talk to some close friends about this and have their support.

      I might get paranoiac, but this man could get dangerous if he thinks he might lose his family, he could hurt you so please be very careful, @Blondegreeneyes

    • I wouldn't tell his gf I said it out of anger and when I did he said do what you think is right and he would still like me? How strange. I wouldn't hurt her or him or his children. But thank you for your concern x

  • I'm not sure what you want support for? Support for staying with a man as a girl on the side, why would I support that... You need to do better for yourself, he came along at your weakest point and is using you. You feel trapped? Break free by cutting that joker off. Until then, you're going to have a hard time being taken seriously.

    • Because he's a good friend more than anything

    • Good friends don't do that to each other. That's just another excuse, when will you drop your crutches and walk on your own?

  • You're being incredibly selfish. How can you continue this affair? I can't get my head round how you can be so cruel. This poor pop or woman, not only has she got a kid with this awful person but he's knocked her up again. You need to walk away or deal with being a home wrecker and hurting innocent people. Those kids don't deserve this.