Best way to react when the girl you like had a miscarriage from you, and is growing distant?

yes im like an outlet to her, she grows more distant, sometimes she acts very indifferent, or she acts just angry, than she tears up when i talk to her in a calm voice, than she wants me over, than she doesn't. than she doesn't want me to touch her, than she cudlles up to me and touches me or kisses me in the neck, and im not allowed to do anything back. should i just try to spend time with her, let her touch me, and feel her comfortable, and just be there and not really talk.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Be patient with her. I've never been in that situation but I can imagine that it's very difficult, and since she carried the baby there are no "safe zones" for her to go to when she wants to distract herself from what happened. Everyone grieves differently so it'd be wrong of me to give you advice on how to deal with that. But it should help if you respect how she feels and what she wants, even though it might be difficult and confusing for you.

    • well sometimes i get the feeling she wants me over, and sometimes i get the feeling she wants to be alone, and im just always gambling, im gonna try this evening if she wants me over, by standing in front of her door, texting her, im at your door, if you want me over, just open the door, or else i just wish you a nice evening. cya. i really dont know what to do, i want her to feel comfortable but im afraid if i take to much distance she takes it all wrong

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    • ok not that text, i just tell her , eyy im almost ready working, want me to come over? ill be there in 5 - 10 minutes. cya than , ok? if not have a nice evening

    • It's better

What Guys Said 1

  • Well I certainly wouldn't get her pregnant again. She's too inconsistent for something like that and you'll likely end up fighting for custody over the kid.

    • This is incredibly inconsiderate for both the asker and the girl.

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    • Well I will tell you right now having a kid with her isn't going to solve any of the problems that existed before this whole thing happened. With my girl, me and her were official and about a year into the relationship. There was no flakiness or uncertainty is that manner. She didn't have another guy coming over. I stayed with her through it and eventually we got over that event together.

      I hate to be harsh, but I don't think that girl wants a kid with you. She is distant and unloving for a reason other than the miscarriage, and it sounds like she doesn't want to be exclusive. Have you talked to her about how she feels about the miscarriage? I'm sure you've considered the possibility of her being involved with her "friend". If I were you I would leave the situation. That's way too sketchy and she doesn't know what she wants.

    • well every woman responds in a different way, she is just someone who keeps a lot to herself, and wants to do everything on her own, i wanted to take her to the hospital for tests and she wanted to go on her own. She is extremely flaky at times, thats just who she is, she is like that, and i rather like sincerity but thats just how she is, once i asked her, want me to come over, she said no im going for a swimm with my daughter, than 1 hour later, she texted me, were i was at, wanting me over. thats just who she is, and ofcourse its not great, but she is a damaged girl, and instead of giving in, im showing her what love is about, and i go get hurt in the process. but she is worth it, that other friend, i dont know, maybe he offers her some distraction i dont know, i trust her she isn't doing anything she could regret, she is just a closed book, even towards family, im not acception there