If my boyfriend's the one in the wrong...why hasn't he called me?

i used my boyfriends phone the other day to find my phone, and when I pressed the call button...the first number I see dialed is his ex girlfriends. I try not to look to deep into it, so for one time, I check his texts, to see if its just phone conversation or not. and there waiting for me is a text from him to her that says hey I have the day off tomorrow, want to hang out? and she of course says yes. I feel totally betrayed...so I take all my stuff from his house and leave before he is out of the shower. when he calls I cry to him and explain why I left, and he just says he was just going to just meet her for coffee because she was having a really terrible week and needed someone to talk to . I tell him its bullsh*t and he kept it hidden from me, and I just keep crying. he says its harmless and he would of eventually told me later that day...i just tell him I have to go, because I couldn't stop crying, and he just says k bye and hangs up. and he hasn't tried talking to me...it has only been one day...why hasn't he? does he not care that much. and what if he did hang out with her? what do I do?...

please help me out I want to text him badly..
so he did meet up with her. and I called him. and finally he called me...n apologized and told me how stupid it was and that she means NOTHING to him. but I wouldn't let my guard down and I still haven't seen him. because I think he has to show me he


Most Helpful Guy

  • While you may not be happy with your boyfriend's choice of activities or company, technically you're the one in the wrong. You're the one that went snooping through his phone. I don't blame him for being mad at you for 1) snooping and 2) crying non-stop about it.

    It sounds like your boyfriend and his ex are still close so you gotta make a choice. Accept that they're friends and are going to hang out or find a guy that doesn't talk with his ex. If you want the former then I suggest you apologize.

    • The thing about that is he told me when she first started textin him he knew why she was doin it, and he understood why it upset me, and he told me he told her to stop talking to him because he had a girlfriend, I did not ask him to do that.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well there's the possibility that you've over-reacted :ß

    Now I'm in no way trying to take your (ex-)boyfriends side, but I reaaaaally dislike this trust-issue stuff and going through partners texts/mails/phone-records ...

    Well, if he doesn't call you the next days, he wasn't into you the way you were into him. As hard as it sounds, but your trust issues could have been true :( I wouldn't go on and text him, better talk to your best friend about it and maybe have her talk to your (ex-)boyfriend!

    Things like this could work wonders and hopefully he'll start fighting for you. If however he doesn't start fighting a bit, you're best advised to leave him be and move on.

    • But is it fair that he hides that from me? I shouldnt have to feel like he always has stuff hidden in his phone. I didn't at all...and it was just there..it just really hurt me.

    • Show All
    • But how would he of told me she was hitting oh him when he can't even tell me he has plans to hang out with her..the one day I worked. like really..how is it fair to me?

    • What do you want to hear? ;-)

      I just cannot tell you when I myself don't have the answers ^^ You just don't know if they have met more than this one meeting. Maybe he was caring for her and didn't want to bring it up - guys are just as stupid as this.

      Then maybe there is more to this meeting. We just don't know...

What Girls Said 2

  • he could be angry that you went to snoop around his phone. but I understand that how all this happened was because of something innocent. everything was coincidental. he could also be angry that you have so little trust in him. I suggest you call him and explain everything from A to Z. and explain that now that he is together with you, he shouldn't have anymore contact with his ex's. and that you're pretty sure he wouldn't want you meeting up with your ex's as well. he should be able to draw a line but apparently he didn't. by allowign himself to entertain his ex and whatever problems she has that she wants to share, he is causing unnecessary drama now and in the future. even if it was totally innocent, misunderstandings are bound to happen. he's not being smart about things.

    • Thats my biggest issue he told me he told her to stop talking to him...and now he spent the entire night without a word to me...his first day off in awhile. and he lives right near me...and when my girlfriend and I got home around 2 in the mornin we always drive by his house its on our way home..and he was still not home..

  • You looked through his phone. Everyone says that is wrong but I disagree. If you hadn't then you'd still be sitting there like a fool while he is talking to his ex AND hiding it from you. What he did was wrong. If I found out my man was still talking to his ex I would be gone, especially talking about meeting up with her. Don't waste your time on this guy. Who cares why he isn't texting or calling. He is probably running to his ex crying. You don't wanna be with a guy like that. Just move on. And when he tries contacting you tell him it's pretty clear he already made his choice when he decided to meet up with her and hide it from you.