Do they need to give you space?

If someone You like upsets you with certain comments a few times. You think they'll never change so you stop contacting them. Is there more chance of you forgiving them if they give you space for a few weeks then contact you promising they've changed and can prove that rather than keep messaging you while you're still upset with them?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it should be both. I think it needs space and time. But they also need to show they really have changed. Promises of change right afterwards doesn't mean much. People don't just flip a switch and suddenly change. It takes time. It's easy to change habits for a short time. But that's not real change because it's so easy to slip into old habits. Real change is something deeper than that, and can take time to show it's real.

    • Thanks. It's been two weeks since we fell out. I've tried with him ever ever since. He's still angry at me. He keeps saying i've done it numerous times and he doesn't want to b e upset anym. ore... what can I do? Space?

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    • Ooooh, I had it backwards. I don't know what to say now. It's him who has to forgive and really believe you've changed. From your end you need to really change inside, to the point where it shows. Mere words won't go far, it has to be through actions.

      I think you should apologize and give it lots of time, more than just two weeks. If you want him back, I think you need to find a way to let him know, but do NOT do it in a clingy way. I think if you keep bringing it up it could drive him further away.

      The ball is in his court on this one. You can only wait and hope. Let him know how you feel but not repeatedly in a clingy, desperate, or emo way.

    • Thank you. I've apologized and he says don't about it yet he's still upset. You're right, words alone won't work because he says i've said the same mean things numerous times and told him I won't again n did. But this this time its different because i just started therapy for my insecurities and I realise what i've lost. The issue in the first place was I was afraid of coming across needy so I was hostile and defensive instead. He's never seen me open up so maybe if I did now he wouldn't see it as needy? I've been so cold and kept my wall up because i was scared of getting hurt only that's ended up hurting him and me anyway! ... you're right about it making I t worse bringing I t up more and more so I tried to have conversation as a friend only he ignored me :( he's said he still likes me and has agreed to be friends and meet up as friends when he's free only he's ignored my last few messages. It was 4 days ago when he last replied. I'm so ill with worry and guilt. Give him more space?

    space can fix things, but so can talking it out O_O
    all about finding what suits ya best..
    i. e, if they are hurt and want space... give them space ^^


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