She texts that she just wants to be friends, but her body language says otherwise (i think...)?

Please help me out here, ladies... This girl i'm seeing, texts me earlier saying "I just want to tell you i really like your company and our conversations and spending time with you... and i would love to become one of your close friends... i just don't feel the chemistry between us."

So, i think... friendzoned...

Now, We see saw each other right after that (just now, in fact) and at first, i'll admit it was a little awkward because i didn't know how to "process" the message. (it was a text message)

But then we went out... despite what she said, her body language told me otherwise. By the end of the night we were holding hands and kissing and cuddling and generally, everything the opposite of "wanting to just be friends".

A few times, she took MY hand and kissed ME... granted there was alcohol involved, but it was like, everything she was holding in was coming out... (she is a shy-ish girl)

I don't know what to make of the situation here... so Ladies, please shed some light on the issue, because i don't know how to make sense of the situation... does she really just want to be friends, or is she just unsure of what's happening, and/or testing me to see if i'm serious?

I should mention she is new to relationships... Like me...

Any light?
What do the women here think? Could use your input :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Boy.. My little boy. Let me teach you something: She only does that because she knows she can call you anytime, because you will be there. 99% of girls like to have a 'beloved friend' who can cheer her up and make them feels special. When you do that, you boost her EGO. STOP! Right now. If you love her, just desapper for a time. Sorry for my English Im typing from my phone. Doubts?

    • I don't know if i fully agree with that... sure some girls are like that, but i don't think it applies to this girl.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • To be honest, I think I can relate to this girl. Many times I've been attracted to people and have still communicated I only want to be friends. The reason for this is simple-- we just can't picture being in a long-term relationship with that one person.

    Also, if she is currently attracted to someone else, she doesn't want to close the opportunity to date him. Saying "I don't think we have chemistry" is her convincing herself there's really nothing for her there romantically.

    There's something physically exciting about being able to show affection to mulitiple people at once without a commitment, and this might be what she's experiencing.

    She loves your attention, she's just not ready for commitment.

    Hope that answered something!


What Guys Said 2

  • Seems like she might be reconsidering her decision I can't say definitely since alcohol was involved but I think she had some sense of what she did. The next time you see her just go up and kiss her, no need to start a small conversation because that will be what she's expecting so just kiss her and await her reaction

    • There wasn't a lot of alcohol involved... I mean, before we even got tipsy, she took my jacket when i offered it to her, and let me hold her... I took it steady, but then she let me take her hand, and one thing led to another. But we weren't inebriated when it all began, it was a slow process.

      I will try that thank you... Now i should ask... should i limit my contact with her? as in maybe not talk to her for the next few days to give her time to figure things out, or what that send a message that i'm no longer interested?

    • You said it yourself she's a shy girl who isn't experienced so she will look for a guy to take the lead and guide her therefore spacing yourself too much isn't the best idea and leads her to believe you're just playing games. Just continue being a gentleman and nice confident guy without being pushy. So for now just worry about just walking up to her and kissing her when you see her, she'll be so confused and happy at the same time she might not be able to talk haha Feel free to message me privately if you need help with the relationship over time. Good luck!

    • Thanks for the offer, I will keep that in mind. I've decided on a 24-48 hour limited contact. Instead of initiating, i'm going to let her initiate and come to me. Don't know what good it'll do, and then when i see her, provided it's not with her parents, i will kiss her, like you said.

  • Kind of reminds me of the girl who told me she doesn't want sex until marriage. Later that night...