Falling for my long term boyfriends best friend... advice and criticism accepted?

I have been dating the same guy for 3+ years now and within the last 6 months he moved in with his best friend and so logically we have all been hanging out a lot lately. I am really starting to crush on him and find myself thinking about him in my spare time as well now, a few times when drunk we have had some serious heart-to-hearts and although it is nothing too obvious I am getting a sense that he feels the same way because he texts and snap chats me throughout most days... I love my boyfriend but there are also some things that I have with his best friend that I long for in a relationship and he really makes me laugh and we have a lot of fun together... I do not even know how to approach this situation or if I should just let it continue on and let it hopefully go back to normal when my boyfriend moves out and in with me in 6 more months...


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, you don't love your boyfriend if you've entertained the idea of being in a relationship with the other guy. Second, you are being utterly disrespectful for flirting with your boyfriend's friend, sober or not. I hope for his sake you haven't done it right in front of him. Anyways what you really need to do is tell your boyfriend the situation since he at least deserves that.

    " I do not even know how to approach this situation or if I should just let it continue on and let it hopefully go back to normal when my boyfriend moves out and in with me in 6 more months..."

    I can't believe you've made this decision already with your mixed feelings, it seems like you don't know what you want in your life.

    • Thanks for being so honest with me, first time i read it in my mind i was like wow he doesn't understand this situation but then I reread it and seriously.. you are right. thank you. Wow. I feel so immature right now, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Thank you.

    • You're welcome. Sorry for being so blunt, but it's really the only way to get it across. Had to do the same with my own friend doing it to our other friend. Taking the nice approach wasn't cutting it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • So I was your boyfriend's friend once before. He and i moved in together and she began hanging out at our place all the time. She and I had a great fling and he trusted both of us. We began having sex and while it was incredible and passionate, there was just nothing that could come from it. A relationship built on deceit is not a healthy one. You will feel horrible about yourself, their friendship will be ruined, and your relationship will come to an end. You'll all be single and regret that experience. This is me speaking because I've walked in those shoes before. Please, trust me, stay far far away from that situation. Tell your boyfriend what you've been feeling, tell the guy that you need to stop your fling.

    I really hope you heed this warning. I am speaking from experience.

    • Right, I would never cheat and we have not even flat out acknowledged our feelings yet, its more just like... "innocent" flirting if that makes sense right now... but I guess after reading that I will continue not to let it get any farther, and if it is going to I will have to speak up first?

    • Yes. Stand up and make it right. Just do what you would want him to do in that situation.

  • If you love your boyfriend you should stop talking to his friend before things happen. You should never have gotten that close to his friend.


What Girls Said 1