Why did he ask me out then say he might "bail"? We had a fight and he asked me out but said he might bail. Am I missing something here? Is this ok?

Ok so we have been seeing each other a while but mainly in his bedroom, so when i said if he really wanted to get to know me he's going to have to meet me outside of his bed, he agreed, but failed to confirm plans. He said "Don't hold me to it because i don't like commitments and sometimes bail" The hell i wasn't asking for a commitment just time to get to know each other which is what HE said he wanted when we first met. but i was sensing him losing interest so i was pulling back too... I am only giving what he puts out for me to take. I am not out to get used again. So i told him "Lol then I get to bail too. You better have a good excuse. To be honest when I
read that I hear. "you aren't important enough to me that I will keep my plans
with you, because something better could come up" so this I what I am going to
do. If someone makes definite plans with me on wensday with a time a place which
probably will happen then I will do that. Like I said it's whoever wins the
race. Don't like it sorry but I will not be treated like that I have standards.
I'm only giving as much as you do. Is that fair? " he said it wasn't fair and i am wondering if he is even worth my time at this point? Why would he do this? Guys please help me, your species perplexes me lol.

  • He is using you, doesn't respect you or uninterested
    Vote A
  • He is scared of commitment
    Vote B
  • RUN AWAY!!!
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say you deserve better and I think that is fair.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, there could be things that he really does need to prioritize, like a job or a friend. Things change and people sometimes have no choice but adjust to it (but that's just me giving the benefit of the doubt)... but if you've only been trying to get to know each at THIS point, then I'm not sure this sort of a relationship will really work out in the long-term... as for whether he's using you or scared of commitment... well, is there anything else you can say about him as a person?

    • he said it does take him forever to enter in to a commitment. He is nice, but like i said it has been mostly sex. Maybe he does have other responsibilities but so do I. he's allowed to bail but i am not? WTF is that about. He said he wants more but doesn't seem willing to even be in public. He said he is ok with me seeing other people but checks in on me everyday through text.

    • Well it sounds like he really is afraid of commitment. He may want to have a better relationship, but has a hard time actually following through with it. He may be trying to follow through but something might be holding him back (be it some past experience or some emotion or confusion) and he might think it unfair that you're not giving him a chance to really work out what he really wants...
      BUT! He needs to be more decisive.. obviously you can't wait forever for him to commit, so he really needs to work out what he wants and decide whether this is a relationship he wants to improve... If he hasn't shown real interest in commitment in the future (you're going to have to decide how long you'll wait) then I think you should move on to someone else...

What Girls Said 1

  • I hear you say that he said "Don't hold me to it because i don't like commitments and sometimes bail" but that you didn't believe him. He told you the truth. Don't drive yourself crazy.

    • yeah but do i stop talking to him then, should i even take this kind of tratment?

    • Show All
    • No, you shouldn't. But I don't think he is doing it to hurt you. It seems to me you are both at different places right now. Slow it down.

    • thanks i didn't even think of that