Should I go to his gig?

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months. I was at a bar a while ago where guys were hitting on me. I told them I had a bf (even though we aren't in a relationship yet, we did agree on wanting one) and one of them seemed ok with it. I lost my friends so me and the guy started talking, completely platonic. I later found my friends and said goodbye to him. I went in for a quick hug but he held onto me and kissed me on the cheek.
I told my guy about this this Sunday since I felt really bad about it all.

When I began to tell him about the guy I could see his pulse on his neck beating both hard and fast, even though we were on separate ends of the bed. After I told him everything he sighed in relief and put his head on my lap and said I was the cutest and it was fine. He repeated "it's fine" several times without me asking which led me to believe it wasn't. The night progressed and it was back to normal, but before leaving he said "try not to let guys kiss you next time, okay?". He didn't say it in a rude way but it kind of confirmed that it did bug him a bit. Which is fine.

I texted him yesterday and we talked for a bit. He didn't respond to my last text so I just let him be since I figured he was busy. He did tell me he was at the studio making music. We do usually always say goodnight if we've been texting but not yesterday and he didn't respond to the text I had sent him which has never happened before, but I saw that he was online on Facebook.

The thing is that he's got a gig tonight and I was invited by him on Facebook to come, this was before I told him though so I'm not sure if he still wants me to come or not. What do you think? Should I go? Am I reading too much into things?


Most Helpful Guy

  • he's says it's fine, but it's not. and it shouldn't be fine. he feels betrayed but he is trying to be calm about things. he may also be questioning a relationship with you

    if you want a relationship with him you need to take steps to show that you are into him and only him. that guys kissing you isn't something that he'll need to worry about

    go to the gig if you want to. not going however may send a sign to further confirm that you may not be as into him

    • I know, I feel like it's understandable as well. But at the same time I didn't really play a part in it, which I told him. I'm definitely into him and I believe he knows that, I will make sure he does.
      I'll go to the gig.

      Thanks for your time and advice!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You've created unnecessary 'drama' here, I don't understand what telling him achieved? You aren't in a relationship with him and therefore you're not accountable to him.

    I would still go and if this guy is going to let a kiss on a cheek bother him so much then he's a weak man with some maturing to do because he's getting 'upset' over a whole load of nothing.

    I'd go to the gig and enjoy the music and have a good time.

    • We aren't in a relationship but since we established that we both wanted a relationship with eachother it's kind of understood that we are exclusive so I wanted all the cards on the table. It felt right in many ways but I do realize it might not have been my best move. I'm however big on trust and honesty and if he experienced something like this I'd want him to tell me, I didn't want it to be about a technicality. Since I felt so bad about keeping it a secret it kind of feels good that he knows about it.

      Thanks for the advice and I will go to the gig.

    • Show All
    • Haha yeah it really is.
      I'm usually one to avoid drama and we are both calm, social and pretty easygoing people. I understand that it is hard, impossible even, to judge people in a fair way since I didn't even give you 1% of our relationship towards eachother. So I understand you do your best with the little information you've got. But I'm sure you know that you get pretty limited when writing a question, there really is more to a person than a few wavering moments in his or hers life.
      Anyways, no worries man. I hope you'll have a nice day or night, depending on where you are in the world haha!

    • Thank you, good day.

What Girls Said 4

  • Deep down, he could be still feeling this reeling from the wheeling that you gave him about the "Try not to let guys kiss you the next time," and it has suddenly Hit him like a drum that This really does Clash with him and maybe is Now----Putting you on his pay no mind list.
    However, with something that doesn't have to go down a beaten path, become even a War of the Roses, sweetie, go to the gig and show him you are on board for him. He Invited you, wanted you there and if he didn't, he would have locked horns with you about not wanting to make any more music with you at all... he seems to me more like a lover than a fighter.
    Learn from this little lesson in love that sometimes, with a sticky 'Wet' situation such as this One: A kiss isn't sometimes just a kiss" and thank God, as far as you know, it isn't "Let's just kiss and say good-bye."
    You may have a little fighting of your own to get back on his ship.
    Good luck. xx

  • he only invited you on Facebook but you didn't talk at all about the gig?

    • We talked about it. He said that they hadn't had the time to prepare much though so he was a bit nervous, they've got several gigs this weeks and told me he was most excited about the one on Saturday. We talked some more but I didn't ask whether or not he wanted me to come since everything seemed fine by then. He's told me before that he loves seeing me in the audience when he is up there singing. We are going to the movie's this Thursday with one of his friends though so maybe I'm just reading into things lol?

    • I think he was a bit upset but if you'll go to the gig, he might like it :)
      he has a gig tonight and another one on saturday?

    • Yeah, he's got two more gigs this week other than the one tonight. Thank you for your advice, I'll go see him and the band tonight! :)

  • Go, don't act guilty you have nothing to be guilty of. Sometimes full disclosure is not a good idea, there is a time when the saying 'What you don't know can't hurt you' is in fact fitting and fair. This is one of those times. Go to the gig and have a great time with each other, make him forget all about the silly, totally unimportant incident which meant absolutely nothing to anyone.

  • I think you should go, maybe he was bothered but at least you were honest withhim & i think showing up iinspire of some small awkwardness would help smooth out the situation :)

    • Yeah, I honestly only had good intentions when I told him. Thanks for the advice, I will! :)

    • I meant inspite* my bad lol & yw

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