I kind of shot myself in the foot here. Is there any hope in this situation or should I move on?

I met a man about a year ago and dated for a few months. I was very into him without ever saying so, because although we went on regular dates and he did all the right things and brought me around friends and had a good physical relationship, I didn't feel an emotional connection developing. It felt casual and I want more. I definitely outkicked my coverage with this guy so maybe insecurity got to me a little. He is about 11/10 on the hotness scale and I'm a cool, independent woman with a lot of interesting experiences and things going for myself, but realistically, for a guy this hot to be interested in me, I expect there to be a strong emotional/intellectual side to things and I didn't feel that from him. I broke it off without much discussion because I suspected I was wasting my time.

Almost a year later, he started contacting me again pretty regularly. The first time, he texted saying he was going to a show that night, do I want to go with him? I had a party to go to and I declined, but honestly I expect a guy to contact me in advance anyway. We made a date for the following weekend and I was excited that maybe I had another chance with this awesome guy. He texted me later that night though after the show, asking "Home yet?" and then a minute later "I still have your address in my GPS." I read BOOTY CALL and texted back "Nice try, that's not exactly a proposition but dangerously close to offending me anyway. See you next week :-P" He apologized saying he didn't mean it that way. Then, being the idiot that I am, I went out with him the following weekend and slept with him, which was definitely my initiative, he was joking that he didn't want to offend me as I dragged him to the bedroom. So he's still asking me out, but now I don't know how to proceed. I'd like to take a 'wait and see what develops' approach, but I kind of eliminated that option when I stupidly slept with him on our second first date. Suggestions?

Yes, I do realize I am waaaay too old for this crap!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Honey, you are doing ALL the correct things and both having fun with it, so live the dream as long as it lasts and here's to it lasting forever.

    Why DO we shoot ourselves in the foot when things are going on track? Just because this is such as rare experience? The biggest coaching money these days is teaching athletes that the gold medal is achieved best by a) having fun at your sport b) getting out of your own way

    • "All the correct things", in my opinion, would not include molesting him the first time we saw each other in almost a year, making me seem like a big fraud when I protested him booty calling me! We're big kids now, but I KNOW I could not do a friends with benefits thing with him. It would chew me up and yes, I would totally get in my own way! You're right about that

    • Molesting him = woman is in charge
      You view it has "hussy" even "heretic"
      when NO one else does, certainly not him... I read

      If in his shoes, I
      would find all that
      with NO
      thoughts of you being anything close to a "hussy"

What Girls Said 1

  • Thanks for responding to my question about the disappearing guy!

    I've been in a situation like this before. It would drive you crazy. What I did was just left the individual alone even though he still calls and text me. I'm not sure if you are looking something more or just a boy toy. In my case, I wanted something more and the guy that I was talking to would do and say things very similar. I slept with him too after taking offense to a text that was mistaken as something sexual... And it it was the second first date lol... I guess I was just curious and I did it again for the second time... Then just moved on.

    • Yep, I'm driving myself a little crazy, you got that right

    • Under different circumstances, I can do the boy toy thing, but I don't feel that way here. So it's either all or nothing for me in this case, and I feel stuck, like I already painted myself into a corner