Good tips on making a man more affectionate?

What are some good tips on getting a guy to be more affectionate? I know my boyfriend cares about me a lot, he just doesn't show it very much. His family aren't very emotional or affectionate so he grew up thinking that was the norm. Maybe it is but I need to know that I'm appreciated and valued in a relationship. So any advice you guys could give I'd really appreciate it!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I grew up in the same type of household. Ask him what makes him emotional and show affiliation to him and show intrests that you care about how he feels. Right now he numb where he doesn't show or try to feel emotion for the fear of being hurt again. Just is just a faze that he's going through. Just stick with him and he will show a lot of emotion towards you when it's over for staying by his side.

    • The only time I've seen him get emotional is when we were going to break up. I think you're right about him being numb or not wanting to get hurt. His family puts him down a lot.

    • Yeah his family has a critical spirt. Just enlighten him and speak positive things to him. He got a emotional when you were going to break up because your probably the most stable thing he has in life right now.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Miss... your beating a dead dick. Either he is into you or not.

    If we were dating or married to me you would get smothered with attention... but I'm a sex addict. I'd use you as my drug throughout the day to make my penis hard with precum.

    If we were in Wal-Mart I'd sit you down on my lap on one of their benches in the middle of the store, French you some, stroke you and fondle your breasts. Maybe try to stick my hand between your legs if you had on skirt. You would make my penis hard or 'half ass' hard for a 60 year old and give me wet pants. (Imagine what I was like when I was your age!) If I get bored shopping I'd to do this for maybe 10 or 15 minutes. I'd do it anywhere for that matter... fishing, sport games taking a walk in the park. I got ADD, get bored very easy so what better to do when bored than to enjoy my girl and get a hard on!

    I would not text you since I don't like to text nor do I have a smart phone. But you could email me and I could call you 5 or 8 times a day and leave you a message. I could sext you numerous times a day if you were into that and I had a smart phone. When you would come home I could massage your feet, fondle and kiss you, do whatever you like with my tongue, fingers and sex tool. Maybe even dick if it is cooperating. (Abused it since age 9, so it needs some breaks at 60.) If I couldn't sleep I'd start fondling and enjoying you some more at 4 am.

    So the point is... we all have different abilities in showing attention. I have very high natural abilities for day and night attention. But you must take the good and the bad with me. If I was not a sex addict, I would not bestow all this attention on a gal unless she was being used as my drug. So you may want a more relaxed guy than me and just accept you can't have it all. But if you desire lots of affection and attention... find a sex addict. Then your only issue will be to find a 'true blue sex addict' that won't cheat. Good luck!

  • Cuddle him like he has no option! Have you tried talking to him about it?

    • I have talked to him about it. He warms up and then forgets again. We cuddle a lot when we're together, and the sex is great. It's just when we're away from each other. We talk a lot over text when we aren't together and a lot of the time it seems like friendship kind of talk. He never says he misses me or wishes I was there. I know he cares about me, he just doesn't show it when we aren't together aside from talking all day every day.

    • Texting is a terrible form of communication to use up interpret feelings. Not to mention some people are better using it then others. Some people just don't like texting or putting feelings in texts.

      Maybe try not texting each other as often and phoning sometimes instead? At least then it's possible to hear the tone in your voices. It may also make him miss you more and more likely to say it.

  • You're not going to be able to make him more affectionate. I don't understand people who don't want to be affectionate! If you want more, you will have to find a more affectionate guy. And he will probably give you great sex too

  • Relaxed happy smiling sex. That always makes me feel affectionate.

  • show him your butt


What Girls Said 1

  • You can't. You can be affectionate and tell him you like it when he is but you can't make him want to. You can break up with him bc you're not compatible. He may get used to affection or pretend for a while to make you happy but if he truly doesn't like it and ifs important to you then it most likely is not a good match.

    Can I ask why you got serious with a guy who isn't into affection when you like it so much?

    I was impossible I affectionate growing up and I've realized how important to me it is now. Luckily my bc is super affectionate it's how I learnt I liked it actually. But if he wasn't I couldn't be with him... Likewise if I hadn't discovered I Ike it he'd probably leave me.

    He may be an affectionate person and just not know yet. Bc if lack of experience. Or he may just not like it... Be affectionate make him feel it's ok to be so with you... And see how it goes.

    Oh and I don't know if you're sexually actve but usually helps if there's sex so that each contact doesn't turn into desperate attempt ar sexual touch. Like sex and affection and then other times just affection vs sex in place of affection bc he's sex starved.

    • I have tried walking away because of it. But he breaks down and begs me to stay. I do have feelings for him so it's hard to walk away when he's non stop asking me to stay with him. The sex is great. We are always active when we see each other. It could be he's not as affectionate because of lack of experience. He's only had one girlfriend before me so.

    • Ell if there's sex that should help give him space to be affectionate. Now I assumed you meant physically. If he is affectionate physically but not verbally then he may simply just not like talking about how he feels... It was very very hard for me too. My bc wasn't comfirtabke messing around when I couldn't even say how I felt.. Mean while I loved touching him...

      So I came up with this thing. I'd say one emotion like how I felt about him then we'd mess around.

      So he was comfirtabke and I was comfortable. Gradually I'd do this several times a week. Till I kind of got used to it. Now I an do it without thinking :)

      Talk it over may e just practice saying one thing a week or something... See how it goes. Since he's begging you backs then tell him what you need min order you stay. He can either do it Or he can't no I between. He knows what y want you know what you want if he can't prove it leave. It hurts but life settling is wayyyyyy worse.

    • Also once you decide to go if you do decide you'll just have t do it whether he begs or not. That shouldn't break your resolve or you'll never take Yourself seriously.