Advice for a first time, shy dater on how to build chemistry? How to create sexual tension from the get go?

I'm asking this because i want to learn how to be a better man.. I want to know what I need to do to create sexual chemistry.

I am chivalrous. I buy flowers at most once a week for the girl i like; i open the car door, and any other door for her, i pull her seat out. But yet, she said there was NO CHEMISTRY... Probably down to me being shy, but i want to break out of that... I know it can't be forced, but surely there is SOMETHING that I can do to help build that chemistry.

So far, what have i done: In the beginning, i texted her a lot... I've stopped that now, and have gotten her to text me, and text her only every other day, unless she texts me. I wait about twenty minutes before replying. I also keep text conversations short.
Since seeing her, my confidence has improved, although nervous, i'm not so afraid anymore of going in to "steal a kiss".. I've initiated holding hands, and kissing her...

I'm not so good at flirting, i don't understand it.

I'm taking her out for dinner tomorrow night, and i want to make the most of this opportunity to help ignite any spark that might "still" be there... i want to work at creating that "chemistry" that she said was missing...

I've already got it in half my mind to kiss her on the get go when i pick her up... surprise her, per se.

So guys AND girls... what advice can you give me that will help me improve my "game" and become a better stronger man in the eyes of this girl? What can I do to turn this from "dangerously close to friendzoning" to "a potential, long term relationship"?
How can I build some sexual tension, some chemistry... THE chemistry that she said she wasn't feeling?

I don't want to change who i am, I just want to improve it, while remaining polite and respectful towards her...

Please try to keep the advice simple... possibly with examples so i can get it right and learn from it :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • In all honesty your first approach probably would of had me snagged within the first few weeks. But some girls like guys who play games I guess. I'm currently working on getting my guy to be more affectionate like you. As far as creating sexual chemistry, I'd say look into her eyes a lot. Smile a lot when she talks. Dress well and show off your assets a little. If you have nice arms, wear a t-shirt that shows them off a little, etc.

    • I don't want to play games with her though... BUT i do want to know HOW to play the game, and get some chemistry built up so that I stand a better chance of forming something with her. Even if it doesn't work out, i can walk away from something with more experience that i can put to use on what ever happens next... I always dress well, and i always put on my best cologne when i see her. My arms aren't huge (I'm pretty skinny lol) but i help a well kept beard.

      The eye contact I will work on... Does it not come across as creepy if you look constantly in their eyes? Or only when she talks?

    • Yeah keep eye contact when she talks. You can break it if you're talking about something but keep it when she talks.

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