Would you be irritated at this situation too?

My boyfriend and I got into a heated discussion over gifting for Christmas and Disneyland... That looks so dumb just typing it.

We've been together for 3 months

Long story short, we agreed to spend $100 on each other to make it fair. He comes back and tells me that he spent $150 on my gift, I asked him why he did that, and he says he couldn't resist because the gift was too perfect for me. Sweet answer, but at the same time I'm a little pressured because I KNOW he is expecting me to spend the same. He went on about how his ex never spent a lot on gifts and he's excited that a girlfriend is actually willing to go "above and beyond" what is expected.
I was able to swing it, and went without groceries for a week to get him something he really wanted (which was conveniently $150, and was the only thing he mentioned wanting.) I'm currently out of a job and I'm living on savings that are intended for my current situation exactly. I start at my first well paying job on January 2nd.

We were planning to go to Disneyland this month, and the tickets were temporarily on sale for $60. We checked, and the tickets are no longer that price. A while back, in casual conversation, he told me he had never been and I told him I would treat him for Disneyland one day because it's a great place and I love it.

So now that tickets are $90, he says, well you did tell me you'd treat me to Disneyland. And I tell him, I plan on it, but I don't have $400 to drop on a trip to Disneyland right now.. and he says "But it's Christmas and you said you would,"

I tell him, you know I'm unemployed right now, I can't spend a ton of money on a trip like that, and he's like "I'm sorry I got excited that a girl would actually do that for me, guess I was wrong,"
He knows I'm out of a job
Like is that not the most childish thing you ever heard, he's acting like a spoiled brat. Omg I'm so irritated.

Would you be mad too? I really like him, he's otherwise a good guy.

Thanks :)

Also, he was going to pay for his own ticket until he found out it was $90, not $60. Then he turned to me to pay.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would get mad, maybe even break up.
    Cause I expect my partner to understand the situation. Going to Disneyland with an empty pocket, and having to come back to work twice as hard just to get by is not fun... He is acting like a 10 yo.
    Life is full of ups and downs and partners have to understand that they have to stick to eachother in bad times, and understand each others problems, he is being selfish... So, I don't think you should go to the Disneyland. As for getting gifts, a gift is not all about its price... He ruined it basically by telling you how much he spent on your gift. I wouldn't even enjoy that gift. I think you should stick to your plan and get him a gift that you can afford. It's about value and not the price.
    Also there is going to be 80 more Christmases for you, so save your money this Christmas. You can go to Disney next Christmas.
    Good luck


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What Guys Said 4

  • I would be irritated. Very irritated. I'm getting irritated just reading this. Seriously, I would be focusing on what I can provide rather than what I can demand from my woman. I will respect her independence and if every once in a while she wants to treat me to something or if she gave me a present I will accept it happily.

    You got mad for the proper reasons lol. Just talk it out, tell him what you think (in the least offending way possible). Sure, he's wrong, but there is no need to be too criticizing about it, especially since he have had unpleasant experience around the issue.

    • Irritated just freaking reading this.

    • The dude should have been more mature. But there are many factors I don't know. So I'm not taking it black and white (yet).

  • Sounds manipulative. Emotionally and in general. I'd consider dumping over this honestly. If talking it out wasn't working. 3 months is a good point to hop off the ride

  • But he haves a job?

    • Yes, he has a good paying job. He lives on his own in comfort.

    • WTF... You deserve better. He sound to selfish. If he acts like that been with you for 3 months imagine how he will behave more ahead.

  • im not sure what you want to hear from people here. its obvious that he was a total dick pretty much telling you to pay for that trip, knowing that you are unemployed. but that you already know and other then that, I don't know what to say...


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