Why do men take so long to respond to a serious text?

We can be talking about any stupid thing out here and he respond within 2 minutes yet when I ask him something real it takes 20 to 30 minutes to hear from him.

I asked him if he was feeling better after a cold. 2 minutes to reply.

I asked him if he really meant when he says affectionate stuff to me when we're together. 1 hour to reply.

Why do men do this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls do the same thing. I know you're getting a number of sharp answers back, but I understand where you are coming from. You feel if he is really interested, he would get back to you sooner. Don't take it personal, but as a guy it takes some time to put some thoughts and feelings together. I would rather text easy stuff than really personal communications.

    Keep in mind, your question of "how's it going?" requires way less brain power and consideration than, "when do you consider moving in together?". Not saying you are writing the latter, but you get my point.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • The answer has to be perfectly crafted because we know you are going to pick it apart piece by piece. Every single word, and the order in which it was placed, has to be misinterpretation proof.

    • Oh, this is good. This is so good.

    • Show All
    • Have you seen the shit she's been asking him? Scroll down. She outright asked if he was sleeping with other girls.

      Can I amend my answer to be "he needs an hour to calm down before responding, lest he tell you to go fuck yourself"?

      Asker, you are going to drive this and every other man away with questions like that. Just... don't.

    • She's not very stable, to say the least. LOL

  • Because he probably realizes that if he doesn't say the exact right thing, it's going to go bad.

    Better to take an hour and craft the perfect response (that you mean) rather than answer on a whim and deal with crap for days.

  • Because you're an inconvenience.

  • Uh, did you ever think that he might be busy when you ask a serious question? How many times has this happened?

  • Top 3 reasons for me.
    1. I'm in the middle of something. A meeting, workout, dinner, the list is endless.
    2. It's a complicated question, and I need to think before construing a reply, as it could have an effect on you if misinterpreted.
    3. I forgot about it. Which means I'm not crazy about you. Trust me, if someone is really important to me, and they text me , I will reply soon.
    Your question reminded me, I have several texts from a girl I went out with in June I haven't replyed to because I read them then promptly forget about it.

  • he's probable mad that you're not taking his words seriously or affection.. stop doubting people.. if he says it, he means it unless he shows you otherwise

  • Because we're all afraid of comittment.

  • A girl texting me is not a priority. Texting is bullshit, when I get texted, I actively look for a reason to ignore it. I don't want to have to think about a text, I don't want to get emotional about a text, I sure as hell don't want to be interrupted by a text. Texting is so. fucking. annoying.

    So the guy probably sent texts to placate you, then you asked him to think hard and emotionally about something (which he is probably disinterested in doing over text, and it requires so much fucking effort when a guy would rather be doing something else---like the thing your text interrupted). Is he supposed to drop everything in his world and metaphorically lick your clit every fucking time you cry for attention? No, if he has a sack, he shouldn't!

    So why did he take forever--because he begrudgingly had to send a text he was never interested in sending in response to a text he was never interested in receiving. Stop being annoying and needy, then maybe he'll welcome the occasional communication from you.


What Girls Said 4

  • 1. Serious questions require serious answers which usually require more time.
    2. He is busy doing other shit.
    3. He is bored (he prefers chit-chat instead of emotional convo over text).
    4. He's afraid you're gonna misinterpret his text so he is probably asking his sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother for advice (okay, that's an hyperbole).

  • Are you sure you're not a teenage girl? I can understand such an immature question coming from a 14 year old. But you? Are you for real?

    Men don't sit there glued to their phones 24/7 ready to reply to your dumbass texts.

    There's nothing surprising about someone not replying immediately. I can't tell you how many times I've sent a text and got up to do other stuff, then replied and hour or even more later.
    To boot, many users on here can attest to me not responding to their PMs, because I simply forgot to reply after deciding to reply later after reading.

    If it's urgent, you CALL him. If you're texting, then it's probably not a serious thing.

    Calm yo tits.

    • that question is just annoying

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    • "many users on here can attest to me not responding to their PMs, because I simply forgot to reply after deciding to reply later after reading."

      Hmm will have to keep that in mind lol

    • @kain7th

      It's true. Reason for that is I browse on my phone, but the private messaging on mobile gag is atrocious, so I read, then leave the replying to when I get home and on my laptop... and then forget.

  • - Might be busy
    - Might be shocked/scared by the question and postpones answering it because of that
    - Might need some time to think about the question in order to form a proper answer
    - Might think it's a boring question and decides to answer it later
    and yeah, @meatballs21 is right. Some girls just loooove to pick apart serious answers in order to find something wrong/bad about the answer, even though it was never intended to be interpreted that way.

    • She outright asked him if he was sleeping with other women. Lol beyotch mode activated.

      She's just looking for reasons to start a fight, no wonder the guy delayed.

    • @MaskedSanity lolol she's hella pressed.

  • First off I want to tell you that DO NOT correlate the time it takes a guy to get back to you with how much he likes/is interested in you. I've learned with my current bf that, no matter what type of convo I text him, it could take minutes or a day for him to reply back. Take the time he texts you back with a grain of salt.
    In reply to your question, he took only 2 minutes to reply back about his cold because it was a simple question adn easy to answer. "are you feeling better with your cold?" vs. "do you really mean all the affectionate stuff you say when we are together?"
    That one might need some more thought, like in how to word it correctly back to you.

    • That I would understand... if he texted back something final that should he gave a damn about me.

      I asked him what he meant when he's being affectionate and he texted back "You make me uncomfortable with these questions. I don't know what I meant" That took almost an hour,

      I asked him if he was sleeping with other women, He texted back "no I wasn't". that took 30 minutes

      I told him that I wasn't mad anymore that we could still be friends, He texted back "cool" that took 15 minutes.

      Even text between theses took 1-2 minutes to get a reply.

    • Honey the questions you are asking him are putting hi on the defense. he's probably getting tired abd annoyed with the 20 questions game. Me being a woman would be most uncomfortable with these kinds of questions. Has he done something to make you think he is cheating?

    • I don't ask him 20 questions. We'll have regular conversations everyday about everything and nothing at all and I'll ask him one real question MAYBE one time a week and it takes him 30 minutes to reply when just a minute ago he was making fun of me for taking so long to reply.

      We were never in a serious relationship. We were about to be but he said that he was still in love with his ex and didn't want one anymore.

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