Ok. How do you actually act on a date?

Here's the thing: Today at work I chatted up this girl. I feel like we clicked. She reacted very well to my humour and on my generally. We talked for a bit. When I asked her out to grab a beer sometime she agreed rather easilly and gave me her number so it looks I am in for a date in the near future.

Here's my question. I've never been on one (23 years old, just recently became physically attractive). How do I act? I mean I want to let her know I am interested in her so she doesn't label me as friend. On the other hand I do not want to come on to strong and scare her off. So what do you actually do to communicate that message? I am talking specifics here. For instance what kind of physical contact is ok and what's too much for first date?

I am not here to get any script. I am confident enough to show my real personality but I am also quite socially inept so I'd love some advice.

It happened to me before. Girls I liked came to think of me as some dickless, asexual existence which was kinnda painful insult. I'd really hate for it to repeat in this case.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Take her out somewhere nice... the date itself should be about getting to know each other. Ask her about her life, her history, her interests, her dislikes and you should definitely feel free to speak just as much about your life. She needs to know about you too. At the start of the date, don't feel shy to tell her she looks beautiful (of course only if she really looks pretty to you... don't lie!) and you can of course give her some compliments throughout the date BUT just don't go overboard. Compliments are nice but too many can start to make it feel impersonal and like the other person is just saying it but not really meaning it. Avoid talking about relationship histories and anything "heavy".

    As for physically... you can definitely give her a hello hug when you greet her and at the end of the date it really really just depends on how much chemistry there is. I'd say the safest is a hug and a kiss on the cheek... that seems neutral enough and if she likes you I'm sure she'll give a sign of wanting more if she feels like it.


What Guys Said 1

  • Take her somewhere decent where you can sit and have a conversation without shouting. You don't have to have food, but have it there as an option. Go for a little walk too, it's the holidays so there's bound to be stuff to go and see like markets and decorations and festivals.

    Be friendly and positive and interested in her, you seem to have done that well so far. Don't get ahead of yourself talking about the future and life and politics - just get to know this new person. Ask a lot of questions about her.

    Physical? See how she is responding to you. Offer to help her put her coat on. Open a door for her and put your hand on her lower back as she goes through. Maybe a playful hug or squeeze while you're outside if you're both laughing and having a good time.

    At the end, when you say goodbye, go for a kiss. Unless it's been a complete disaster, go for a kiss. If she hugs you, kiss her cheek. If she just offers her cheek, just kiss that. The kiss doesn't have to be at the end if the opportunity presents itself beforehand.

    Relax. There's no rush here, the first date is getting to know each other and gauging how well you fit together. More serious conversations, longer dates and everything else comes later.