What's the earliest time to ask someone out on a dating site that isn't too soon?

When you talk to someone on a dating site, how soon long do you wait before asking someone out after talking?

There's this girl I started talking to last week and then 5 days after talking, I asked her to get food or a drink and her response was sure I'd love to, I've been waiting for you to ask me. Usually, I'd give a week because if I do it within 3 or 4 days, they might think I'm moving too fast and it might scare them off.

On a side note, I texted her today and had some small talk and then I asked her if she wanted to meet up this week and didn't get any response. I haven't heard from her since. I don't know if I said anything off putting that made her change her mind. Did I move too quick or didn't move quick enough?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Whatever the reason is it doesn't matter. You won't know unless she tells you so try to forget about it and move on.

    • True but for example, we were talking about what we do for work and she told me she works in a retirement home. And here's what I said, that's cool. One of my friends did the same thing but works in a hospice now. I could never do that because I don't have that kinda patience. Dealing with my grandpa is enough lol. Then I asked her out, is there anything bad about what I said?

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    • True. Makes me wonder what the success rate is from actually forming a relationship from those. I've met plenty of girls on there but none of them have led to anything serious.

    • Not to sound needy, but I've resorted to those because I've had a hard time meeting women after college and the only ones I've met in person have led to hookups and nothing more.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • I know the feeling man. I am talking with a girl who asked me if I had plans today (like two nights ago).
    I told her I was free.
    She never replied.

    One time I just straight up asked a girl if she would be willing to go on a date without having much conversation at all ("Can I treat you to dinner and find out what makes you tick?"); she agreed. Probably the fastest date I ever landed (though it was planned a few days early).

    Another time, a girl viewed my profile after I liked and messaged her and said nothing to me. A few hours passed and I figured I'd hide her so I wouldn't make the same mistake of re-messaging her. Then after another hour or two I decided to unhide her and give her an extra day to reply (despite the apparently silent rejection).

    Turns out she messaged me the next day after I unhid her.

    Lesson: Don't read into non-verbal actions. Stuff happens and technically you are still a stranger to her.

    All you can do is keep on truckin' until you find a girl who wants to date you.

    Out of curiosity, do you use PoF, OKC, Tinder, or something else?

    • Yeah I'm just gonna wait a few days then text her in case she doesn't reply. I mean there's other girls I'm talking to but she's the one I hit it off with the most which is why I leaned toward her the most. Not to sound clingy but her saying I've been waiting for you to ask how are you doing honey, etc got my hopes up.

      And yes I do use okcupid, pof, etc. I found her on pof. n

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    • Online dating it is interesting though. It helps you meet a lot of people you probably wouldn't have met but you can't take it too seriously, despite my question, because it's online and there's probably a good chance the person you're talking to is window shopping and talking to other people as well. I feel like it's applying for a job and doing interviews.

    • I've met a few girls off of OKC and PoF (I think I'm being pre-filtered by race and/or height, though, as a new experimental account seems to be faring much better).

      Anyway, I hate it as I keep turning down the few girls who message me because...

      They aren't virgins like I am.
      I know I'm too old and should just settle for what I can get, but I really can't get rid of this dream I have of learning & growing together. Also it's a 29 year-old V-card. I know I sound like a broken record on this site, but it's really hard for me to just toss it to anyone.

      (I think I really am starting to lose my sanity over this)