Would you guys say that my problems is that I'm too picky or does this make sense to other people too?

Okay so I have been single for about 2 years now and it's because as I've gotten older (I'm 23 years old) I've learned not to date just to have company because that either never works or actually makes you more miserable than you would be alone. Anyways so I've had the "high school relationship", several of the "boring and not going anywhere relationship" and of course "the one relationship that totally fucks you up". So after dating different types of people and experiencing different types of relationships I decided to take a step back and obviously take a break and then see what happens to my life. In the past two years I haven't really been looking, yeah sure I've had crushes and I've on dates but nothing serious and I think that I am at a point in my life where I am not hurt anymore, I'm not bitter anymore, and I don't think I'm scared either, I may be a little guarded but not to the point where I'm completely closed off. I'm open to the idea of dating now. I've taken plenty of time to myself to think and heal. But my problem honestly is that I'm just not attracted to anybody... or at least I should say a lot of the guys that try and talk to me. I have noticed that I’ve gotten extra picky when it comes to looks over the years. I wasn’t really like this in the past but I am now and I think it’s because in the past I have dated some guys who I was not physically attracted to and it was awful! Is it so wrong to say that I want to date a really hot guy? And that more than half of the guys that try and talk to me are just basic average joe’s?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Frankly, I was quite surprised that you only want 'hot' guys, considering all the sensible stuff you wrote before that. Anyway, if that's your preference, then its not 'wrong'. Just ensure that you don't lead the average looking guys on.

    Also, it would help if you aren't THAT dismissive about the so-called 'average joes'. If you don't want to date them due to their looks, its perfectly fine. But these average looking guys may still have something amazing about them, beyond the looks. Just saying, because its completely your choice.

    I personally haven't dated for almost 4 years now (since my previous relationship ended). Not that I'm picky, but I have been focusing on other priorities of my life (such as education and career) and I don't suppose I will be ready to date any time in the near future because I seem to have gotten a bit too 'comfortable' being single.

    • Yeah I have too. I definitely have gotten used to be single like I worry that once I get back in a relationship I wouldn't even know what to do because the last time I was in a serious relationship I was 20 and well things have changed in the past 3 and a half years.

    • Show All
    • I can kind of understand that because... well not to sound too cocky or anything... so I have dated some 5's or 6's in the past and I think that I'm more of an 8.. like everything combined, looks, personality, intelligence you know just all around... and although I've never cheated on anyone my whole life, when I am out with those type of guys here's what I always catch myself doing, checking out the hotter guys that walk by and think to myself "I want a guy like that" and that's not right! I know it's not right! I should be happy with who I'm with and only have eyes for him and think of him as the hottest guy in the world and that's why I've stopped dating or even considering the guys I'm not physically attracted to which really narrows my options by a lot lol

    • Try to think of it this way- Looks always fade with age when the person becomes all wrinkly, and its not under their control (unless he/she does something drastic like botox or plastic surgery). But the person's nature/personality will never change unless he/she CHOOSES to change it.

      I don't know how 'eligible' I am to give opinions regarding looks though, since I have always considered myself to be amongst the worst looking men on the planet! Hehe!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I dont think its wrong, i mean you have to be sexually attracted to someone you're involved with otherwise the relationship won't work. I am really picky aswell, the problem is the attractive guys tend to be the dick heads -_-

  • You know what you want. There is nothing wrong with that. Something you might want to think about is how they see you. Are you at that level where a hot guy would be interested in you?
    I'm kind of the same way. I was in a relationship for 6 years. Now of coarse I know what I want but I want to build myself up. I want to finish up school so I can start my career. Also I've been working out, just trying to be the best me I can. So I can attract a great guy. Not only physically but someone who has their shit together.

    • I dont wanna sound too cocky.. but yes I do believe that I am the type of girl that can attract a hot guy & I've seen hot guys check me out but they NEVER actually approach me but the "average" ones sure do.. all of the time. & I like what u said about yourself, I finished my degree, I'm going to take the LSAT's and applying to law school next year, I have an internship at a law office. I mean I have things figured out in my life. I'm 5'2 and 110 lbs I would say that's being in good shape lol I come from a good family and very family oriented I think that I deserve someone who's got all of those things but is also attractive. The reason why I say that is because in the past I've actually had quite a few guys who are nice, smart and educated, come from great families but you know just average looking show interest in me, and I tell myself okay well he has everything else going for him give him a change but then the thought of being physical or having sex with them terrorizes me!!