No chemistry, yet she still wants to see me and says she misses me... Why?

She says there's no chemistry, yet she still makes and keeps to plans we have made. She still wants to see me.

Something happened between her and a guy who she made plans with to move in together, and she told me she's still trying to get over him.

Could this have anything to do with it?

Ladies please explain... :)

I should mention that when we do see each other, she always texts me first and says she had a great time... She also initiates if we haven't spoken in a few days... After she told me there wasn't chemistry, I initiated no contact. She contacted me after two days saying she doesn't want to lose me and that she misses me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she has Openly Admitted there's 'No chemistry,' she is merely feeling Comfortable with you, knowing you are Her Enabler to be around for her, to take her back whenever the chips are down And------She doesn't want to lose me and that she misses me.
    You are her life support life line whenever she doesn't have anyone else, sweetie. She has no big attraction except to make you feel like She is this magnet that attaches herself to your caboose each and every time she is feeling lost and alone... she uses you for her sitting duck.
    It's a full circle pattern that could lead down a beaten path of Problems in the future with a girl like this. With you always making it easy to let her keep coming back for more, she never has Anything in store for you but whining and wriggling her way back into your good graces and the comforts of home... she is mistaking your kindness for weakness as well.
    It's your call, your choice, but it will eventually end up a War of the Roses with this problem child damsel in distress... eventually, she could end up dumping you for Good and disappear into her murky waters for good.
    Good luck. xx

    • When she said there ain't chemistry, her eyes told me different... And i don't come back easy. I told her out right what it is i want, and i'm now in the process of distancing myself from her. She doesn't whine, she doesn't press the issue. She doesn't complain about her day, or anything like that. she talks to me, asks me how i'm doing, how my day is going. When the conversation ends, it ends and i don't initiate with her for a few days. If she initiates, i don't reply straight away, but wait about 30 minutes or so. I'm showing her, that i don't need her if she doesn't want to be there. i'm showing her that i'm not a pushover.

      I keep trying, but not all the time. I'm not pushy, i ask, then leave it. If she doesn't reply, it doesn't bother me, or at least, i act like it doesn't. I just focus on my own stuff, if she has feelings she'll come to me, if not, then i'm no longer tied to this emotional espionage :)

    • With you 'Distancing yourself' from her, it's better. With 'Whining,' I merely mean Coming back to be with you when she feels like it... stay clear. xx

    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to help here.:)) xxoo

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What Girls Said 2

  • Dude she is keeping you in her back pocket in case she can't find anyone else.

    Move on.

    • And that's what I'm doing... But she always initiates... Not everyday, but if we haven't spoken in a few days?

    • Yeah, to ensure that you're in her back pocket.

  • Well, obviously there is chemistry!

    • Could she be unsure, or afraid of a repeat of her past thing? You know the saying, "once bitten, twice as shy" could this be the case?

    • Show All
    • I'm not sure... that's why i'm asking... i'm trying to decide my next move. She says she can't get over him, though she is trying, and doesn't want a relationship right now. I think the no chemistry is to get me to not seek a relationship with her yet, more than anything. Because she still wants to see me, regularly too. Just says no when i ask her to be my girlfriend...

    • Okay, if she says she can't get over him, why would you ask her to be your gf? I'm not trying to be mean but that to me sounds like she's using you. Have more respect for yourself. So what happens when he wants her again? Is she going to be like.. no I'm with him..(meaning you) or is she going to run right back to his arms? I wouldn't put it past her. She can't get over him yet she misses you. Something to think about.

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