Do I have committment issues?

Im 22 and I've never had a boyfriend.
At times i really crave one and i wish i had someone to go to bed with and wake up with in the morning.
But im also a very busy person, i love working, i study marketing, my second year.
The thought of having to care for someone elses need scares me, the thought of having to ajdust myself in order to fit someone elses schedual scares me.
a lot of other things scare me aswell like being cheated on, not being good enough.

I went to a bar on Monday with my class.. a Christmas dinner than to a bar for drinks. I sat there and i was like what am i doing here, this is so not me, its not my setting and all the guys are creepers... so i went home.

A friend of mine told me yesterday she slept with a guy that she met out in a club few weeks ago.. she broke up with her bf a month ago and now is going on a new date on Saturday.
Im like how do people do this? I love being independant and alone but i do like having a special someone there
SO honestly i dont know what i want.. or why i am the way i am

I dated a guy in january-february and things went great, after 5 dates i was all "in love" but after Valentine's day when he left i sat and broke down because i was feeling things i didn't want to feel because i knew i had more important things i wanted to focus on, school and work. I just wanted him but at the same time i didn't.
He said he didn't want a serious realationship bc he didn't have time.. it hurt me but at the same time i was like thank god. We are friends now but i do miss him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Commitment phobe? Eh. I don't think you really realize what a relationship is. You made it seem like your bf is practically your child and you will care for him 100%.

    When you have the opportunity to meet someone just take it slow. Guys want independence in a relationship just as much as you may. I don't think you will loose yourself in the relationship.

    • my child? how? xD

    • "The thought of having to care for someone elses need scares me, the thought of having to ajdust myself in order to fit someone elses schedual scares me. "

      You aren't caring for his needs... & you don't have to adjust your life for no man. I don't know why females have the tendency to do this but it is okay to continue your life as is and the time you spend with your man isn't because you have to adjust your life it will be naturally because he is apart of your life. That shouldn't be a thought out transition though... Otherwise you will be consumed by your relationship and waiting for him to be on the same page because men often times want to protect their "freedom" as well.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's not commitment issues. You just haven't found a man to suit your life. You don't want to pick up a guy in a bar cause it's not your thing. Talk to people whereever you go, Starbucks, the library or Book store, grocery store. You'll end up walking into a guy looking for the same type of relationship as you. For the meantime, masturbate and be happy

  • I think you might be clingyyyy


What Girls Said 4

  • Look you dont have to date anyone or be with everyone because everyone else is the beauty with life is that there are millions upon millions of men out there and once you have finished studying and settled in a job things will be different for you dont put your needs on hold for anyone i learnt this the hard way. Things will happen when they are supposed to.

  • You're still pretty young.
    The bar scene can be hollow.
    Maybe you just haven't met the right guy yet.
    Don't be too hard on yourself.
    You're not alone.

    • I feel like there's such a pressure.. like my mom always askes me if i am dating and why not. My friends are all in a rel.. my girl friend that i wrote about is already moving on.. i mean i feel like love doesn't have a special meaning anymore.. like is sex the new love?

    • i can't sleep with someone i dont have feelings for.

    • Yeah!
      You're pretty normal methinks.
      The right guy will come along.
      Just be open and available.
      The sex stuff doesn't bother me.
      I like it.
      I never associated sex with love, but yeah I have to be at least attracted to the guy.

  • Men these days do act like children. They want women taking care of them. That is why most men I know are in relationships with older women. Most men are boys. Who act like childten. Don't settle. Also you have to be careful because most men just want to fuck

  • You are 22, there's no need to commit. Sure, some people are ready when they are that young, some are not. People are different. You seem to know what you want, and there's nothing wrong with what you want, even though you say you don't know. You say you enjoy being independent, doing your own thing, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    One day you will meet the right guy and then you'll automatically know that this is what you want now.

    • But i get stressed.. like my friend i told you about she is on to the next one so quickly.. while I've only slept with 3 guys and i dont like sleeping with any guys.. like i need a connection.. a date a feeling

    • At your age, I had only slept with one guy. So it's not like you're awkward at all. If you are, then I must be super awkward. You just need to take it slow. It's fine if you don't like sleeping with guys. I think you must feel pressured by society, friends, family and you shouldn't let them pressure you. If you don't want a boyfriend, then don't get one. It's not a must, especially at your age. Maybe you can start dating casually if you really want some form of connection. Although that doesn't sound like what you want either.