Should I try to date my crush? I'm not sure if I could handle the relationship?

-Background Info (skip if you want):
So I have known this girl PB (super cute and sweet) for almost a year now, but never talked to her much in HS. She's INCREDIBLY shy & would actually get scared of anything. She would pull her arms in tight or twirl her ponytail hair whenever she got nervous. It was frickin' adorable.
Anyways, I didn't see her but once since the end of school last year. Fast forward through a summer and 4 months of college to today. I came back during her gym period to talk to her again. Now she is SUPER friendly & open to me, waving as I came in and asking all sorts of questions later. This is weird for her because she's usually super shy. We talked along w/ her friends. I climbed up on the bleachers siting right next to her, touching leg to leg & arm to body (breaking the touch barrier) & she was perfectly fine. I went to her lunch and sat next to her too and also leg touched, which she was comfortable with. I DIDN'T put my hand on her thigh though bc I don't want to go too far & make her uncomfortable. The lunch ended and I got up to leave for home. So I said bye to her & we hugged, except she hugged me SUPER tight. No female "friend" has been as aggressive with a hug like that before. So now I like her and she *should* like me.

I'm 18 & a freshman in college, she's 15 & a sophomore in HS. I'd obviously wait until her birthday in Feb. B4 I make a move (AOC is 16 in my state). So the age and life exp. gap is a problem, I found this out the hard way w/ my ex (15 & soph. me 17 & senior) how immaturity & expectations of teen girls can sabotage a relationship. I also have my own problems of hostility towards others (read my bio) that I need to work on as an adult. In addition, I plan on my next relationship being the last one (I like monogamy and marriage) but I know if I pursue it won't last more than 2 years. Lastly, college requires a lot of dedication & I'm supposed to date college girls. Should I try to date her or not?

  • Yes, go ahead and try to date her.
    Vote A
  • Maybe... how about wait a bit to see what happens or think about this situation.
    Vote B
  • No, do not try and date her.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Oh, by the way, sorry for all of the condensed English and texting speak, that 2000 character limit is a female dog and I wish GaG would bring back the 3000 character limit.


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) You don't have to date college girls if you don't want to
    2) If you're going to date her (I know you're a STEM major), do it NOW before junior/senior years of college when it is going to be a lot of work/hard
    3) If you think she'd be OK with dating you at that age (parents as well) I see nothing wrong with it. The age difference is there, but not nearly as pronounced as in later years.
    4) I don't think you should count on this being your last relationship (marriage), but it would definitely be fun and could be emotionally/spiritually rewarding if you made it so

    I think that's it, but I'm open to discuss more from my 23-year-old perspective.

    • You didn't indicate long distance or anything, so I don't know if that's an issue.

    • Show All
    • That's very close indeed. And certainly a connection if she goes to your old high school.

      I'd continue to be friends with her, get her a small gift for her 16th birthday and see what happens from there. It doesn't have to be a physical relationship at all, but could be about sharing interests and helping each other out with different challenges in life (and there are many at y'all's age). Perhaps an emotional outlet for some of this "hostility" you speak of.

      The best relationships are like free therapy anyways, because you're never ashamed to let it all out and be healed by someone understanding you. Then it's nothing but fun because you're not hiding anything. They are rare and have to be crafted, but are very rewarding.

    • Thanks for MH!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • hold it right there mr.

    as soon as i read the words 'I'm not sure' i knew straight away that u r NOT ready. once u begin to feel more certain of the situation, then go ahead, but for now, ur still doubting and that is toxic. you'd b better off waiting than injecting that ish into something that could be great if u wait=]

  • i think you should wait a while, to see how she acts towards you.. maybe she won't take it seriously and will just have you as another guy in her life, but hopefully that isn't the case, but wait a while and see what her intentions are before you make a move, thats what i would recommend


What Guys Said 1

  • If it feels right, go for it. I'm battling a similar situation. The girl from my first GaG question has re-emerged, and is as lovely as ever. (Same kind of age gap as you guys). Some people were pretty supportive of such an age gap. There were nay sayers as well. Check out the poll from my old question if you want to:

    • Damn. I'm glad someone else can relate to me on this, my friends can't.

    • Haha. I know. But I don't think an age difference of 2.5-3 years is that big. At this age it seems a little questionable, but overall it would be fine in the long run.

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