Are you able to get dates but no relationships?

So I'm almost 25 and I've had flings, dates, sex, etc but no traditional relationship. Not even someone I called gf that wasn't serious.

This year I've met up with 12 girls off dating sites, hooked up with a few that I've met at bars but haven't had anything serious. No, I'm not a player trying to get with as many women as I can, it just ended up that way due to the circumstance. What usually happens is I'll have 3-4 dates tops with a girl and then they flake and I usually don't hear from them again. The worst part is, I don't even know what I did wrong and it scares me.

I mean I don't start dating someone and worry if they'll flake but we'll start dating and hit it off and they'll say let's do this or meet up again and then eventually they flake and ignore my texts. It scares me because I feel like I have tons of issues and don't even realize it. It's like if i ask why I'm not hearing from them or what I did wrong, it'll come off as needy and desperate but if I don't, I'll continue to make the same mistake and not even realize it, whatever that mistake is.

Could I not be having as much luck because I'm meeting a lot of these women off dating sites and there's other guys they're talking to?

On a side note, I don't see how guys brag about the number of girls they get. This is coming from a guy who's only had hookups and flings. I'd much rather have a few stable, long last relationships then a bunch of dates and flings that go nowhere. Hookups and flings might be fun while they last, but they have no substance.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you think that maybe you could be coming on too strong? Usually if I lose interest in a guy in the early stages it is either because he has shown no real interest or effort (i. e. not trying to ask me out soon enough etc) or because he has been too eager in the early stages - i. e. showering me with compliments and texting all day (writing back immediately) in very early stages when, lets face it, we don't really know each other. I know the two sound like they contradict each other but you need to find the happy medium. Everyone says they don't like playing games but in the beginning it is important to maintain interest and not to look over eager. Mirroring particularly works well.

    • Nope, I've made that mistake in the past and try not to do anything that resembles clingy or needy. But like you said it's about that middle ground. It's like you don't wanna seem like you're overly interested but at the same time, you don't wanna make it seem like you have no interest at all.

      Just recently though, there was a girl I talked to off POF and I asked her out 5 days of talking and she said I'd love to, been waiting for you to ask. So we text for a few days and when she feels better after being sick, I try to set up a day for our date and she ignored me.

    • That being said, when is it too soon to make a move and when is it too late?

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Probably because you never established what the relationship was so it was taken for granted. Next relationship, make your intentions known.

    • This... you need to find out what kind of girl she is but laying down your intentions. Find out if she's the flaky kind or the grounded kind from the start... Whenever things seem to drag on or not go anywhere after a step, maybe she's looking for you to step it up a notch

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    • Yeah it sucks. My friend suggested getting a gym membership for a more natural way to meet women, in addition to working out of course lol.

    • Your friend watches too much tv...

  • this is an odd paradox

    • Mind elaborating on that?