Fell for a guy 12yrs older (divorced, no kids, lives 3,000km away). I visited him 2weeks ago. Crazy about him now! Can this turn into something more?

We really enjoyed spending time with each other and it all felt so comfortable and normal. We went for nice meals, movies, walks, golf, made breakfast together... I've totally fallen for him!!! We both were in long term relationships (I was engaged to my partner of 10yrs who had an affair with a colleague and still hopes to win me back -idiot!- and he was married for a year/dated his ex-wife for 6yrs and no kids). I am 30 and he is 42. He is so sexy! I never was a fan of BJs but with this guy that's all I want to do to him. I believe he is a really great guy... Prior to my trip to visit him we sexted non-stop and since my trip things have gotten a bit more emotional and sexting has almost stopped. We text "good morning" and "good night/sweet dreams" to each other every day and are texting throughout a day about what's going on in our lives. We also talk at least 3-4 times per week. We are into each other very much, but concerned with the distance b/w us and getting hurt. I can tell he holds back from time to time b/c of this (his words too). This really hurts... I don't know what to do? Give up on this thing we have or try to have a more upfront convo about where this is going and/or what we're? I am totally crazy about him... and I believe he is into me as well. I would like to try to date/have relationship and see where things go... hell I even considered moving if things go well (would give us a couple of years though lol). Any advice / insight into my situation is much appreciated.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know where you are coming from. First, I would definitely try to talk to him to see about making a relationship work. Biggest thing is to not jump the gun, I knew someone who met someone that was far away and they moved together without having really done any real dating (most of the relationship was over messages). He turned out to have been cheating A LOT and he was hiding lots of things. If she had taken her time before moving in she probably could have learned it and avoided further pain. So you are right by saying you would wait a couple of years. I would say mostly just focus on getting to know each other more.

    • Thanks! Ya I agree with your comment about not making any rash decisions. I guess having the "what are we?" / "where is this going?" convo is scary. I don't want to appear needy and scare him off (been in this "thing" for almost 2 months)

    • It is, honestly I would try to also gauge by how he acts. If he always mentions plans about the future (places you guys should travel to, meeting his family, etc.) then more than likely he wants to go forward in the relationship.

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