Should I tell my bf about my past (being molested and raped)?

Just as the title purposes?

It affects who I am today

I'm thinking for more of an understanding


Most Helpful Girl

  • if you want to. it might help him, give him incite into your behavior- likewise, sharing your past with someone you care about might help you handle it better. it's really up to you, what you feel comfortable. i know that i would want to know if my bf had been molested and raped.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If i was your boyfriend i would encourage you to tell me things like this.
    Especially because something that deep strengthens our bond and relationship but more importantly it helps me understand you better as a person. It would allow me to adapt to who you are today even further and wait as long as you need to be ready in case intimacy has a traumatizing effect on you as an example.

  • if you feel you want too share it and are comfortable and ready in doing so.

    • So you wouldn't react negatively if a gf told you?

    • nope. i would only react negatively if she deceived me in some way with that information

  • If you feel comfortable with it and trust him enough, sure. I would definitely be interested in this kind of back story.

    • When I was 9 my step dad used to talk about my breast coming in. & When I turned 10 and started developing, I was home alone with my dad and he molested me... I blacked out a lot of that day just by suppressing memory of it. I do however remember my next door neighbor running in during it & starring at me as I cried. I tried to tell my mom and she didn't listen. Made me feel like I was stupid and a liar.
      Fast forward to highschool I was harassed by people because of my womanly body... My family constantly discouraged me when I had dreams. My mother told me to become a langere model, because that I could do. When I was 16 I was raped by a guy named Antonio and I felt so ashamed for putting myself in such a situation that I never told anyone until I found out I was pregnant & had to tell my bf, who then left me and I had an abortion because my mother told me she wouldn't love me. I got kicked out at 16 and went to my dads (biological) who beat me & my mothers wouldn't

    • Take me back home. Told me its my fault.

      I had some obstacles in the way in order to graduate but my family told me I wasn't smart enough, yet still I did it with out staying back a year. with the sexual trauma and harassment growing up I have become insecure of my body and also in relationships because I have yet to meet a man to treat me right. Except my brother, he just doesn't know any of this... & being told that I am stupid has discouraged me so much to where I feel worthless sometimes and get discouraged easily.

    • I'm thinking of this because today my next door meighbor that walked in , he messaged me and apologized.

      Senior year I was so upset about everything I just wanted to know the truth about what happened that day so I stopped him one day in the hall when no one was around and I asked him if he remembers that day and he just laughed at me and asked me if I could send him a picture of my body and started making comments about my breast.

      A week later I got a breast reduction

What Girls Said 2

  • I told my boyfriend about some of my past, purely because it's changed who I am today, how I view things and how I may react to certain things. If you feel like he's confused by any of that, then maybe you should? My boyfriend took it fairly well, I'm sure yours will and he'll want to support you. If you ever feel upset about your past, it's good to know someone is there to support you. If you haven't been with him that long, then I'd suggest waiting until you know him better (though that doesn't always work) so you know you can trust him.

    • Exactly... I feel like it has changed me. & I am trying really hard to put it in the past but the behaviors I have which stem from it are so obvious to me and I feel can be misunderstood for him. I've been with him 5months. I feel I can trust him.

      Thank you.

    • I personally would wait until at least a year together before you tell him. I trusted my ex's but it didn't stop them from spreading around my past and later insulting me over it. I was with those 1-2 years so be careful who you trust.
      No problem.

  • Yes, so that he can help you on the psychological level.