Is he clearly not interested if he doesn't contact you in 5 days? Or is he shy? Is he thinking the same thing as me?

1. I'm 25 year old (average to maybe pretty) woman that met 27 year old (attractive) man online. I initiated the contact but he always moved the conversation forward with questions and follow-up that showed interest and flirtation over a couple of weeks.
2. I asked him to meet up and he called me a "take charge kind of girl" and said "sometime". He asked me to meet him shortly after that and we met up for coffee. He greeted me with a hug but left with nothing (no hug, no mention of any follow-up, no phone number). I thought I blew it and he wasn't interested, but then he messaged me two hours later to say he had a nice time and wanted to "maybe hangout again sometime". I was confused, but happy.
3. We arranged another time to meet up and hung out on a Saturday afternoon at the museum. He greeted me with a hug. We had a good time and so I asked for his number, he said his phone was off and it'd be easier just for him to give me his, so I added it on the spot. He hugged me goodbye.
4. I texted him the next day joking around about something funny that happened at the museum. He kept it going and told me he's curious to know more about me and told me some personal info (that he doesn't have any close friends).
5. I asked him if he wanted to hangout again to get to know each other and he responded with "yes" and then we said good night.
6. Haven't heard from him in 5 days. I logged into the dating website and saw he was on for a couple of hours, so I don't know. I didn't want to be the first to initiate contact again because I wanted to see if he was actually interested... well is this my answer? He's not interested? Or does he just see me as a take-charge kind of girl and assuming I would text him if I was still interested? Yet, I made it pretty clear that I was.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • This kind of behavior is definitely weird. He either doesn't want to date you or he has some odd personality behaviors.

    My opinion on normal guys is that they will initiate communication and/or contact with a girl if they like them. Whether this be texting, calling, messaging, or whatever, it will be something. If he hasn't done this, he probably doesn't want to date you.

    If a guy's already been out with you twice, and is too shy to even text you, then he's the one with the problem anyways. This is beyond shyness, this is straight out non-normal behavior. Which would lead me to say that you probably wouldn't want to date the guy anyways.

    Hope this helps!


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not too experienced with the whole online dating business yet, but what I've found, besides the obvious he's either not interested or the shyness is at an abnormal level, is he could be chatting with someone else. Unfortunately it happens a lot from what I hear. You meet someone nice that you get along with and then all of a sudden someone else pops up that seems to be just as much of a match and they hold off to have time to choose. When I like someone i want to see or talk to them more and more so I set a general for myself that if I don't get that feeling from them I move on.