shy guys tend to take more time to open up to people. this seems to be a serious disadvantage when it comes to dating. any advice on how to overcome this issue?
Most Helpful Guy
Exposure breeds comfort.
If you never pick up your balls and just throw yourself into a situation, you'll keep on having a fear of it from the outside. Approaching a girl, talking to her, saying something stupid or awkward, long pauses or silences, etc... none of that is going to kill you. It will feel uncomfortable, but your ancestors had to run out into a field and beat an animal on the head with a stick in order to eat. The least you have to do is go up and talk to a girl.
I ride motorcycles. The reason I tell you that is because it's a great example of an area where you DON'T want to jump in the deep end. You want to take it slow and steady, learn consistently, and err on the side of caution. Because if you don't, they may have to pull your body out of a ditch somewhere because you made one mistake that came back to bite you.
But talking to girls? Dude, fucking jump into the deep end of that shit. And not just girls, ANYONE. If you see a person while you're out and there's something about them (clothes, familiar face, something you have in common), strike up a conversation with them. If you become one of those dudes that turns talking to girls into some kind of game or art, you'll end up killing yourself from frustration and failure. Conversations and asking people questions isn't a contest, as far as I know. Just keep doing it to figure out your own 'style' of talking and behavior, to familiarize yourself with it, to learn how to interact with people, to learn how far you can take things and in what directions, and so on.
Seriously, it's a skill that can be developed like any other skill. I used to be shy as well, but now I'm a comfortable introvert- I don't prefer being a social butterfly, but I can talk to whoever without losing my shit. Girls are just girls, and are probably just as afraid of you as you are of them (right now).
So yeah, challenge yourself to talk to as many people as you can to realize it's not a big deal.0