What's the average age a man wants to settle down and commit?

I'm 25 and I have my heart set on a certain someone. He's 28 and has everything going for him. He's been single for awhile... I was just wondering if there's an average age when men start to want a relationship. Thanks (:


Most Helpful Guy

  • guys start wanting a serious relationship (not just for fun) after college

    but just because they want a serious relationship doesn't mean that EACH (or the first, for that matter) relationship they get into will lead to MARRIAGE

    after college, guys start to notice one thing.. their value in the dating market is only going up.. they're only getting more mature, successful and productive.. and on the other end.. the value of all the women around him is only going down..

    to quote the July-Aug 2008 Harvard Business Review:

    "Negotiations are all about power. And power, is all about imbalance. The party who has a lower demand and has more value to offer or supply, holds more power. By increasing the other party's demand for what you have to offer, and downplaying the value of what they have to offer you, you achieve control. Control is a state of being; where your power over the other party is so great, the only outcome that exists through negotiations or power struggles is only one that is favorable to you. Control can be temporary or permanent. In instances where it is permanent[1], companies would benefit from avoiding commitments such as contracts, locking-in prices or terms; since it allows them the flexibility to entertain better offers. In instances where it is temporary[2], companies would benefit from enterting into commitments, such as contracts, locking-in prices and terms; since it provides security against both the declining demand for what goods or services the company has to offer, and the decrease in value of those goods and services."

    guys realize they have the luxury of time.. after all, a man has nothing to gain from marriage, only half to lose.. so the way a guy sees it..

    the only reason I'd want to "settle down" is to have kids.. and I don't want to have kids when I'm already old enough to be their grandfather (that's really the only consideration)

    of course a man would still date.. in search of someone he could tolerate spending the rest of his life with.. and he would be in a serious relationship with her (leading to marriage).. but wouldn't actually commit until HE is ready to provide the kind of future and lifestyle HE wants for his FAMILY..

    that includes his children.. himself.. and ironically.. his wife (ironically; because in most cases.. women prolong commitment by giving off a demanding and materially needy vibe)

    depending on his career.. that could be anywhere between 33-40

    depending on how financially and legally literate he is too.. he would probably put all of his assets in an irrevocable trust at least 30 days prior to his proposal or wedding day; and would never agree to get married without a mutually agreed upon pre-nupt..

    if she fails to sign it.. from his point of view.. he's just filtered out a gold-digger trying to emotionally blackmail her way to the fruits of his labors.. and he'll just have to find someone else.. he has the luxury of time.. she doesn't..

    • WOW! excellent answer (: thanks for the advice!!!

    • I know most guys on here will probably just "feed you what you want to hear" or "whatever sounds flowery, nice or morally proper".. but this is exactly how a man who has worked his ass off.. and is now successful and only getting more successful is thinking about relationships and marriage..

      but do know that he DOES want a SERIOUS relationship.. but MARRIAGE will only take place when he feels FINANCIALLY ready (to give his family what he wants).. and LEGALLY safe..

    • Honesty is the BEST policy (: and I appreciate that... what's that one saying.. "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.." I suppose that applies to my current situation. Thanks again!!!

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What Guys Said 2

  • NEVER.

  • There is no average. Some want something serious right away and others never want a relationship beyond a one night stand.


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