Taking things slow or not into me?

I've been seeing a guy for the past 2 months, known him for a year through a meetup group. I'm female (33), he's male (38). I came out of a 10 yr relationship so I'm not sure what to expect. Our relationship is still not defined. He's not seeing anyone else. I told him I can see this turning into a relationship and he said "A relationship would be nice." I was sleeping over 3 nights a week, then he cut back. I spent the night before I went out of town for Christmas. Over the weekend, he was still contacting me like usual, telling me he missed me.

One thing of note is that he makes excuses not to meet my friends. When I invited him to go out to eat, (friends are Spanish guys like him), he said he wanted to go, then became "sick". Yesterday I told him I made it back okay and that I was about to hang out with my old friend from out of town. He wrote,"I'm going to bed early, family time can be draining and getting headache and still under the weather." It sounded like a lame excuse to discourage me from inviting him.

We both had today off. If he was into me, wouldn't he try to see me as soon as I returned from out of town, considering he hasn't seen me in a week? Wouldn't he know by now if he wanted a relationship? Wouldn't he be interested in meeting my friends? Is it weird that he never brought up New Years? I see my friends defining their relationships within a month. I'm not used to things being this slow. Is it normal?


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  • I would say, you need to tell him what you wrote here. Everyone deserves better. If you feel he is not interested. Move on... if he follows he may have a chance to be with you.

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