I just found his girlfriend's profile on Facebook, what should I do?

I fell for him almost instantly, but I held my tongue because there is a office rule which forbids us to date. we went out as friends and we talked about everything including our old relationships and how they didn't work out for all of the reasons that we both had in our pasts. We talked about how he always meets women who aren't available and gets his heart broken. I said I was single, and reassured him to not worry about me being in some secret relationship. Then he kissed me, I had butterflies and I was so happy, one thing led to another and we slept together. I spent the whole next week at his place. We've been dating for four months, we refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. We even exchange vows of love. I haven't been this happy or even in love with anyone in eight years. We've even begun talking about his moving in with me, he has the keys to my house. I don't use Facebook and he found that out long after he had sent me a request when he asked why I hadn't responded to the request yet. Well after much prodding from many people I signed back into my account accepted the requests and clicked over to his page, where there was a picture of another girl staring me in the face. I paused, very nervous of what might happen because I knew that this was his ex. I clicked on her name and wham. Her page is like a shrine to him, her profile picture is of them together her banner, those are new, is them kissing. and as I scroll down her page I see the exchanges of I love you's between the two of them.
I'm devastated, I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying, I can't eat, or sleep. I won't see him until he gets back to town in a few weeks, but I just can't bring myself to call him. I don't know if I'm strong enough to walk away if it is all true when I speak to him. Though the evidence is there that I have been lied to and that alone makes me wish I was strong enough to leave. I'm just lost and vulnerable. I don't know how to approach this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • NO girl follow you intuition. Its always right... no matter how much you love him you know the truth and you know what you are suppose to do. If he truly loved you as much as you loved him then he wouldn't have put you in this situation. You deserve someone who loves you as much and invest as much into you as you do to them. I wouldn't contact the other gf I would just let him know you found out and end things. The messier you make it the more pain it will cause you.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Wait wait wait.

    Okay, you said the banner is new, but it could be made of old pictures taken in like, I don't know, 2011 or some shit.

    Were the "I love you" comments and messages new though? That, you can't faked.

    • The messages are recent, from while we've been together. Which is why it cut so deep. The photos are old from a while ago while they were dating before he told me they had split. I just feel foolish, because this was going on in such a public venue, and I didn't see it.

    • Put him in his place.

      He's an asshole. Treat him like one.

  • Ditch him.

  • So, what are you two doing dating, if it's not allowed?

    • I've wondered this myself recently, it is five months until we would be allowed to, because of our positions. It just happened, once he kissed me I couldn't walk away and be just friends and knowing there was a time when it would be allowable that was soon approaching made it seem less threatening.

    • Show All
    • This has bothered me. It is not a danger thing. There are no consequences to me dating him, only him dating me, because of his position. Only being allowed 2000 characters I could not elaborate on why I included that point. I would like to elaborate on that point. Because he would be fired if he had a relationship with me; I, we, have been keeping our relationship secret. The reason I included that is because we haven't been very public, haven't told a lot of people, but the people who have been told are people like my family, and close friends of both of us. So the biggest reason I saw that as an important detail is because he was hiding me, and I made it easy for him because I thought I had a future. He always tells me he can't wait until he can take me out and show me off, and tell everyone. But now I'm thinking it may all be lies. I just have to clarify that. His position is the position which prohibits us from dating. Not mine.

    • Idiot

What Girls Said 1

  • What i dont understand is why he would attempt to add you on fb knowing that the girl is all over it and that you would see everything are you sure it isn't a misunderstanding?

    • That is why I want to talk to him in person when he gets back. But I'm concerned he may just lie to me and what if I believe him.

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