Why do people date on and off?

This one girl that I met off a dating site, led me on hardcore and went back to the ex she complained about. I knew this guy from high school though we weren't actually friends nor enemies but I found out she'd been dating this guy on and off between relationships for the past 5-6 years.

She'd complain about how abusive he was but still always go back. I think it's very unhealthy because its like no matter who she dates between their on and off relationship, and if they break up, she'll always carry that baggage and take it out on the next person she dates like she did with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She has to learn on her own that the relationship she keeps going back to is toxic. Just leave her alone. No matter how bad she speaks apon the relationship she's not going to completely leave him and never go back. And she feels as if there is no one else she'd actually rather be w/. Unless she like when he beats her and people feel sympathy for her and many woman believe it or not does but she loves him very much deep inside and just wants him to act right so they can really be together w/o the off and on. You're wasting your time w/ her, just move on honey.

    • Yeah it's just tough because it was my closest thing to a real relationship. I've gotten over it for the most part but it's still in the back of my mind here and there from time to time.

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What Girls Said 2

  • They aren't strong enough emotionally to move on. They are blinded by love and slightly na├»ve. It takes someone from the girls family to step up and say something. She has to remove herself completely in order to stop going back to him. Sometimes a relationships past history of good memories keeps then going back.

    • Yeah, the thing is though. You can't change a person unless they want to themselves.

      It screwed me up because she used me as a rebound and I thought we were a good fit because of how much we had in common and our conversations would flow so naturally but then once she ditched me to go back to the ex she complained about, she had the nerve to make this status saying why can't i find any nice guys with tattoos, is that too much to ask for?

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    • It's actually normal for that to happen. It will take time to heal and she will always be at the back of your mind but one day a woman will help you heal and eventually you'll start to forget the bad and live for the good. It took my current boyfriend to help me and now we are going strong and have a great friendship and partnership.

    • One of my friends in college dated this girl on and off for awhile too. It was very toxic for both him and the girl because they'd always date on and off and when they split and the girl would see another guy my friend would get depressed over it even if he had luck with other women at the time.

      Bottom line is, once you're done with a relationship, that should be it. No going back.

  • Because it's a love/hate relationship.
    It's a very toxic one though

    • Oh yeah it's very toxic. Some people say it was good I didn't date her long at all, but it's a little different when you've never been in a real relationship sadly.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's because sometimes people meet someone who ticks all their boxes, someone who they feel strong, undeniable attraction and chemistry with but who isn't necessarily good for them. So they break up and get back together and break up etc. They can't make it work and they can't let it go. However, it's selfish to involve other people in their drama, to lead someone on like that is a shitty thing to do.

    • Yeah it's like she made her issue with ex's my problem. If she didn't bring it up to me, that would have made it so much better. The fact that this ex is someone I ran cross country with makes it worse.

    • And yeah it was like she spit in my face when she got back together with this ex when she brought him up in the first place and said he's the biggest piece of shit and I don't wanna go to this place because I want to avoid him. Makes you feel like you were nothing to them despite what they told you.

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