Being a significant other and a best friend.. why can't it happen?

I want opinions, like real opinions... Both sides of the lines do this but I'm only focusing on females today since we don't hear a lot of females complaining about being in the friend zone... Why can't a guy be your best friend and your boy friend? It's a concept i still cannot grasp to this day... What is it about dating your best friend that you can't do? I mean you know him, you know his heart and character so whats the problem? Are you afraid it won't work? because I feel like if that's the case it's not a valid excuse because a relationship is two people working with each other to make each other better, its a two way street, if both parties are in it, its possible there is no end.. so what the deal?

Ladies only, guys if you want to chime in, feel free but this is meant for ladies


Most Helpful Girl

  • It certainly can happen. If you can't be friends with your boyfriend, why bother being in a relationship with him? Friendship is an important foundation for relationships - the strongest relationships I know of were built upon great friendships. I married a guy who has been my best friend for many years.

    I think some people are afraid of putting their friendship on the line once things start to move to another level. And it's mostly women who are afraid of this, which is why guys seem to be the only ones complaining about the "friend zone".

    • I feel like a relationship is two people coming together and working together to be better... It's a two way street, I feel nothing can go wrong if the fire burns from both sides... The best things always come with the biggest risks though in my opinion, sometimes I feel like you have to take that risk to get something you want and have never had

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well sometimes it just works that way. After you have been put in the friend zone you become this non-sexual entity in our eyes. We cancel you out as a potential partner for whatever reason (Not attracted to you, you show no interest in us at first etc ...) so while it is easy to flirt and start dating then to to become more attached to them in a way that is different from romantic it is hard for us to approach is from a different angle like the generic "running before you walk" almost.

    • Well what I have an issue understanding is Why... If females know the best relationships are built on friendships, why not take that leap with someone who 1. you trust 2. has never made you question his character and 3. know has your back from the best of times to the worst? I mean in a nutshell, that's the list I see all women have... I feel like its kind of ridiculous... I feel like sometimes High risk = High reward, to get something you want and never had, you have to be willing to take a risk

    • because we just do not see the relationship in that light. We have thought of you as a close friend and that cannot just change into romance because the friend has decided to make it so. There just isn't any romantic feelings there. Think of one of your close female friends, it should be difficult to see her romantically unless you have dated in the past or haven't truly accepted her as a friend.

  • My husband is both to me, until him I never had that sort of relationship with exes. It's a super good thing to have but not easy to do tbh.

  • I dated my best friend... he broke my heart and didn't care along the way that the friendship would be ruined...
    Now I understand why girls rather not date their best friend... Unlike men they are not willing to risk losing that friendship...

    • Well I feel if he were your best friend, you would've known his character and known he would probably disappoint but I understand your hesitancy

    • No I wasn't prepared for what came... Knew him for 2 years and what he did was the opposite of everything he claimed to stand for... And I am the person who's had loyal friendships for 10-12 years at a time... Obviously this is when I was much younger and naive.

      I just think that men and women see friendships in a different light. For women irrespective of the gender a strong friendship is indispensable but for men if there is an attraction it trumps everything else.

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