Advice needed! How do you decide if someone's worth providing for? Older guys, you may be especially helpful on this one?

How do you know if it's worth dating someone who is broke knowing that if it works, you'll be the provider? What if dating the person will otherwise decrease your quality of life (security of savings, being able to go out, crowding in home)
because it cuts into your funds?

More guys have likely had this dilemma, but more and more women are as well. Though, as a woman, I'd assume most of the cooking and housework stays in our hands even if we're paying the rent?


Most Helpful Guy

  • They are responsible, appreciative, loving and passionate. And they contribute how they can.

    • Do you make quite a bit? I'm very nervous about risking financial security for a guy. I make less than 34,000 and am not loving cushy by any means. :S. I think of be less nervous if I made more.

    • Show All
    • Dating, I wouldn't even think about it. Of course I'm male, and my partner's financial success has zero impact on how attractive I find them, and the impact on lifestyle is pretty minimal.

      If you're looking for a life partner, well, it matters.

    • He already brought up moving in with me, so I'm nervous about it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • only your heart can tell you that. If you love him (or her) then who they are and what their situation is should not matter (unless they were abusive obv). Through the 25 years with my ex we flipped flopped as far as who was making more money several times and I was even out of work for 3 years (due to her wanting me to try for disability however, so her fault). But in the end she made way more then me.
    Also, a man is capable of cleaning house. I cleaned the house tons more then my ex ever did. Although I did say I would rather do everything inside and outside then have to figure out meals and cook lol...
    but he should at least share. and if he doesn't work, and is physically able, then he should be doing the house stuff 100%.

    • The guy I'm seeing works hard, but doesn't make enough to be able to contribute more than tokenly. He is paying child support, but I'm not sure why he's so poor despite working other than that.

    • Show All
    • We've only been dating for a little over a month and he talked about moving in. I don't fall in love that fast and it's spooked me a little.

    • Well that is WAY too soon. You should be together at least a year. But everyone is different. But I think you can see you need to wait a while before even considering it. If you do decide to do it, I suggest you have a long talk and make sure you both understand the "ground rules'. who pays for what, who will be primarily responsible for what, you have to make compromises in relationships. but the more of an understanding you have going into it, the better it will work..

  • I wouldn't support someone I'm dating. Y'all wanted equal rights, here's the equal responsibility that goes with it.

    • @yaddayaddayadda02
      Perfectly said!

    • I'm not complaining, so don't paint me with a manosphere brush, please. I've always split with my boyfriends, but I'm seeing someone new who is too broke for that. So I'm curious how people make this evaluation.

  • I think there needs to be some type of income whether your a guy/ girl dating.
    You can't depend on the person to keep you financially unless your girl wanting
    to marry a guy and be stay at home wife and let the guy support you but you got
    meet guy whose got good income to do this and these guys are hard to find them
    years are done and gone.. I would never expect a girl to keep me i got my own
    income but i would contribute to the best of my ability in any relationship no girl
    should have to keep any guy..


What Girls Said 2

  • I wouldn't date someone like this at all. Idc how nice of a guy he is, I don't want a broke ass man who brings nothing to the table

    • I wouldn't allow someone to provide for me either, but I know some people do.

  • If you are having these questions/doubts a month in, you already have your answer I think.

    • I'm not sure. I like him, but I fear financial trouble.

    • Follow your gut. Read your question; it reads like a nightmare in the making. I am really put off that he already suggested moving in.

      Run. Run far, far away.