When a guy is all over the place?

I've been dating this guy for about a month and I can't figure him out. I get the sense that he's inexperienced and/or unsure of himself, but it's turning me off that he won't initiate.

He always does what I want to do - when I want to see him, I get to see him; when I want to have dinner, we have dinner. It's nice, but it's silly. I suggested we see a movie after dinner once, & he said he had already seen it but we could pick a restaurant closer to the theatre so I could see it while he went back to work. I told him that was ridiculous so we went home and watched movies instead :)

However, i am lucky if I get a response to any texts or Facebook messages that are not direct questions. I sent him a "thinking of you" text on Sat after I saw him last - nothing. Then a Facebook message with links to things we discussed on Friday - nada.

I have told him it makes me think he doesn't like me and he cuddled me and apologised, saying he didn't mean to. He also said he isn't looking for a relationship, which is fine (I'm not either).

I really like this one, but I'm not going to make myself crazy over it. My ex was a lot of work like this so I'm inclined to hang in there for this guy, or do you think he doesn't like me and I should move on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is he a very to himself kind of guy? I have the same problem I am very to myself and I don't ever talk to girls via texts or call. I feel you shouldn't let it slide but also you should ask what's wrong (in person). Face to face conversations are better than texts, and they will be better for you to express your emotions than just saying in a text "what's wrong? D:". I tend to avoid social media and I feel if a girl sends those texts I hardly care to respond (does that make me bad? I don't think so). The only texts I generally respond to is when people ask me if I am dead. Try to keep the conversations alive with questions, I know I generally hate talking with someone when the conversations look like this

    "hey what's up?"
    "Nothing much, you?"
    "Watching TV"

    and now there's no question in that text so the conversation dies and I go back to doing other things instead of taking the time to come up with another question.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Move on. You'll just end up wasting your time. I just ended a relationship with this type of guy. And even if he really likes you, he'll revert back to his ways unless he wants the change for himself. Doesn't mean he is a bad guy, it just means he needs time to mature and grow up a bit.

  • Don't move on just yet. Lay off a bit to see if he's willing to initiate at all. Give him some space, maybe contact him only once a week. If he's actually interested, he'll contact you or will be kind of upset when you talk to him again.