Stalled before we started?

Met a man at a neighbours Christmas party. Recognized him as living down the street. Serious eye lock for the whole 30 minutes I was there- I had to leave so I slipped him my email address. 3 weeks later, he emails, we talk - exchanged numbers. Then made tentative plans to walk up to a nearby café, I said id phone and we'd go at 1pm. I phoned no answer. He said to me, that he could not believe that someone like me was interested in him and I was really pretty.

That night he phoned apologizing he missed my call, reception issues. We made plans for another coffee on Monday. I waited, nothing. He txted later asking if I was available in the evenings- I have a child. I said yes, Im available most evenings except for Saturday, and was I going to get stood up again? Twice we made plans and twice he bailed. He said he didn't make plans, he said he'd text if he could make it. Not my impression But I apologized (despite my better judgement) for the misunderstanding and giving him a hard time. Then he txts me at 3am the next night. didn't answer and in morning, I txted him saying it was inappropriate at that hour, in a nice and friendly way. It has been 9 hours and he hasn't replied.

I'm new to dating and very old fashioned, is this normal for our times? Or does he just not respect me or value my time and basically, just not into me? Hesitant because of my child?

He is 50 and a confirmed Batchelor. I want companionship/friendship/ to go out. I don't want a commitment/more children/marriage or moving in. I want to keep my independence, but he isn't giving me a chance to say this to him and now I feel like why bother if he isn't impressing me at the stage where I should be really keen.

Your opinions will help greatly- thank you

I texted him today, with a "hiya, how you doing" text, just in case he thought my previous "what's appropriate" text was viewed as aggressive or a rejection. Last chance lol


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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems like to me that he might be intimidated to meet you hanging out. He already said your pretty and he said he doesn't know why you would be interested in him being pretty and cute. It sounds like he has low self esteem and maybe he has been hurt in the past. So he could be scared to take the big step forward to go hang out with you. Also maybe it could be the child part. Some guys get scared to talk to girls with kids. They feel it's extra baggage sometimes. I think guys text all hours of the day. But unless if a girl gives permission to text at 3 am then a guy shouldn't unless if your texting or talking on the phone all say.

    • Thank you. Right now it's been 2 days since I heard from him and I'm just letting it go. Maybe he needs time to get his head around it or as my friend said, perhaps he has other women on the go and I'm plan b lol. Keep you posted. Really appreciate the time you took to answer me. It really put my mind at ease :)

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    • I do appreciate your support, I have had my fill of bad relationships and accepting being treated less than I deserved- but Im finally learning lol its been 5 days and no word, I am beginning to suspect his intentions were not honourable, and I don't have time for that lol I would consider maybe returning a text if I got an honest apology or some sort of gesture, but I doubt I will get it. I guess it is true what they say, if a man really wants you, they will do everything in their power to get to you. It wasn't a wasted experience because I feel I learned something from it. Ill keep you posted lol Thanks again :)

    • Your very welcome. :) You make good points. And I think any guy should treat you like a queen. I think for the most part that is a true statement if a guy likes you he will do everything to pursue you. Sometimes it can take time and doesn't happen fast all the time. I knew people who it took a while for them to be together. I also think it can work both ways including with girls chasing guys. That is also true I look at every bad dating experience I ever had as a learning experience. I think everybody encounters bad experiences. That is also true maybe he wanted other things. Thank you very much for keeping me updated. I think you will find somebody way more better. Sometimes it can happen when you at least suspect it. Or it can happen with time. Lol keep me posted if anything happens. :)

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