25 yr old dating 29 yr old divorced man. We've only gone out twice but text all the time. When/how do I tell him that I've never been in relationship?

We met online. Met up twice and text everyday. I know he's divorced. I've never had a boyfriend and have zero experience. We get along and click, but i'm wondering if I should tell him that I have so little experience (virgin) and when to do this because I don't want to be weird/awkward. Will he think it's a deal breaker because he's already been divorced and doesn't want someone so inexperienced? I don't know what to do.

So far, we have just gone out to dinner and talked, no hug/no kiss or anything, so things are moving slow, but I'm worried that the longer I wait, the more awkward it will be when he finds out.

What would you do? Thanks for your help!


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he really likes you he won't be bothered if you've not had a relationship before or you're a virgin I personally don't think it matters but if it really is bothering you just tell him up. Maybe ask bout his marriage and then say you've not been in a relationship before?

  • As soon as possible (but in person). As my father so poetically put it, he'll "be happy as a pig in shit."

    • How do I actually say it though? I don't want to just state it like a fact.

    • Show All
    • I smiled and that was OK. I was ecstatic anyway because I was really in love with this girl. After about another month, I was still hoping to take that to the next level. She said "... not until I get married." I said "OK." and that was the end of the discussion. To me, it wasn't a big deal because "doing it" was a rare enough event in my life at that school that it wasn't a major loss, but also, by that time, I knew I wanted to marry her. (Sadly, I did not and that was not my choice.)

      My point in telling you this story is to give you the perspective in a sense of this 29 year old divorcé. He would likely be gentle with you hopefully recognizing the gift that he has in you. Some men might take
      advantage of that in a bad way, but a good man will help escort you into a relationship - not just be a "significant other", but be forgiving and warm and tolerant of any mistakes. He will NOT think it's a deal breaker and, if he's decent, he won't mind the "lack of experience". (more...)

    • I say continue to do what you are doing - dinner, movie, go to some park or place together, whatever. It doesn't need to be sexual right away. One of two things will eventually happen as the relationship progresses: Either, 1) like me, he'll begin to gently pressure and wonder if something is wrong or 2) he might be perceptive enough to recognize your inexperience and talk to you about it. In either case, you don't have to bring up the subject of your relative innocence and lack of experience. Put another way, there will come a day when he recognizes that there's something different about you. When he asks, you come clean but don't be defensive about it; in a way, you are now putting your trust in him. How he handles it tells you the kind of man he is and will be an indicator to you of whether you want to continue with him or not long term. Good luck "Cynthia 2.0"!

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