Mixing business with pleasure is an unhealthy drink... or is it?

Last year (2014) I spent most of the year traveling around Europe for my job. I met a guy who's a photographer through a friend of mine (I'm a model). Me and this photographer became close over the months and eventually started sleeping together. Eventually he became my principle photographer, we would do photo shoots by historic icons around Europe . He's from Europe and I'm from the United States, so he basically picked all the spots and made all the arrangements since he was more familiar with the area, he became something like a manager/photographer. I knew that I wasn't staying in Europe long but during the summer things became so serious between us I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I would be going back to the U. S soon. I planned on leaving in October but in August I had an emergency that forced me to come back to America. When it was time to leave we had a huge fight because he felt I wasn't being honest with him, he thought I lived a secret life with a secret family and it's the reason why I had to hurry up and leave him, but that's completely false. He even told me to leave his house and told me to never contact him again. He even destroyed some of the negatives we took around France and those are the same pictures I wanted to keep and use for advertisement, he even destroyed a portfolio he helped me create. He ruined a lot of my things out of anger. Now I'm without a lot of my art (photoshoots) and it set me back a few months and I have almost nothing to show for advertisement and he ruined my chance to submit my portfolio. He felt betrayed, but so do I because he used his talent and creativity to help me but he used it again to destroy me. I planned on going back to Europe for a few months and redo everything again but there's a very good chance I will bump into him. Who's in the wrong? Me or him? Can we do business again? Can we fix our friendship? Should we have avoided the sex from the beginning? I want to know where we went wrong.


Most Helpful Guy

  • it can be done but is very tricky.

    Not sure what to tell you about this guy. He seems a not so nice guy.

    I travel the world too... emergencies come up. I have seen it happen, it has happened to me. I was in a far off place when each of my parents died and I had to go back to the States.

    I guess that most emergencies that would need you to leave that fast would be explainable. So why would he not understand it was an emergency and think you were misleading him. Not blaming you, just saying the story seems strange and he reacted extraordinarily given you had an emergency to get back to.

    • Thank u. See I think the problem started because I didn't tell him I was coming back to America, but he knew I was American. When I had to leave I didn't give him the entire story of why I had to leave, I just told him it was an emergency and that I may not be able to come back anytime soon but he can always visit me... he flipped out and start accusing me of betraying him. But this guy travel the world also but he had no sympathy.

    • Well it sounds like he was totally into you. And with such little information he flipped and was suspicious That said what he did was out of control.

      It seems best to stay away from him really, but if you can't you better be very careful.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well you should've made it clear from the beginning that this wasn't a forever thing and that you had every intention of returning to the U. S. after the summer.
    He did go pretty extreme when it came to you going home. It's never ok to break someone's things.

    • You're right. But the conversation of me leaving never became relevant. He knew I was from America, but I didn't tell him I was just visiting Europe , but I was there for so long, especially on France, I guess he assumed I moved there, and I guess I got so comfortable there I almost forgot I had to leave. I don't know if I should feel bad. I still think about this guy, I do miss him.

    • You're still in the wrong too. Unless someone specifically told me that they were going back home after "visiting" for more than a month, I'd assumed that they moved here.

  • You never do that. Too much drama

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