Dating a man who has wounds emotionally?

I am dating someone who has experienced a lot of hurt in life... From serving on the frontline in special ops to going down the wrong road in life as a child and having his heart broken.

I don't want to "fix" him... I just want him to feel loved and appreciated the way he deserves to be. He means an awful lot to me and I have grown close to him.

Any advice on dating someone with emotional wounds suppressed?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Aha! I have all those traits! What I can tell you is trust. Do not listen to these doubters who will tell you to run.

    First understand, everyone is fucked up, it is just a matter of how much or how little.

    Take an abused dog. It will bite, attack, and be murderous to protect itself. People with these issues are the same. But if you can get the dog to trust you and treat it with kindness, it will be your most loyal devoted friend till the day it dies.

    No, this is a generalization, he could easily murder you and your whole family, so the choice is yours, but do not buy into the myth that somehow life will be easier if you look for the the perfect person. If this guy loves you and is not abusive, you may bring him back to the world of sunlight and happiness. But do so gently, you cannot reengineer pain and trauma out of someone's life, this takes time. YEARS!

    If you have the love and patience, it may be the most noble thing you ever do with your life.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Bad idea, if he don't feel the same way about you. Back off. You have been warned. The best thing about your attraction to him is you know his hardship. Now before you consider him your bf and go through some stuff with him, you must consider the risk. If your going to go through this then go on. It may not turn out well, but if it does congrats. But if doesn't, you made things worse. Consider your options.

    • We have been together 5months and he has just recently met my family. His wounds root from hurt& remorse of what he witnessed and did in the service for so long...

      I believe he has feelings for me too, otherwise why would he meet my mother? No?

      I am just being patient but I know he is suppressing wounds and memories bc he is ashamed

    • Mah! So you have made your decision, then I thinks it's fair that you give him a chance and must be patient with him, you must understand that you have to be there when needs you and take care of him as well. Listen to your instincts and trust in yourself.

  • Just be patient.

    His wounds might not heal at the pace you want, when you want, or at times that are convenient for you. Just be patient and let him know that you are there for him, whenever he might need.


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