I think I need to see a psychiatrist or something. Women have been approaching me a lot lately and I just never know what to do. From random girls giving me a compliment on how I look to random women buying me drinks. I get unbelievably nervous and I just start answering with very succinct responses. I have my passions and don't think I'm a boring person.
It's as if I'm terrified of women.. At a recent outing with some friends to see a band play, this one girl kept trying to get me to talk to her. She was even leaning on me which made me honestly want to run away. One of the friends (female) of my friend told her that I'm quiet because I'm a "nice guy" which hurt me a bit. I hated hearing that. I stand my ground if people fuck with me. I am by no means "nice".
My friends (all guys) constantly give me shit because they think I'm "wasting" my time and they keep telling me that I'm a way above average looking guy. I don't think I'm ugly or anything. I constantly catch females stare and turn heads but I usually pretend I don't notice or avert my eyes.
I'm scared that my inexperience will hinder me when I finally do meet a woman that I feel comfortable around and that I will be the one that scares her away. I'm at the age that most people are settling down and I have yet to form a meaningful relationship with a woman. I'm beginning to think some of us are just destined to be alone forever.
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Dude it may be a mental issue. I was you a while back too. I can actually rip my balls off and throw them at piranhas because of the opportunities I missed due to social anxiety. I was also called a "nice" "cool" "easy going" guy and it pissed me off too (I think calling a guy "nice" is akin to calling a girl "fat"... it basically means you are cool but only friendshipzone material) Remember mental issues can be in varying severities. If a certain mental issue (like being to shy or anxious) is causing significant distress (which seems to be your case), then you may have a personality disorder or social anxiety but in a diluted way (hopefully in a case where you can overcome it without seeing a psych). You may also come from a childhood where you grew up with overly strict or overly tender parents (religious backgrounds have this often) or you were bullied. Either way you think you are a creep for who you are (you said you don't want to sound like a creep so you overthink what you want to say) or you lack social skills. I was also a "Nice Guy" and told myself I don't take shit from anyone... but I actually did in some ways. Now im reading a book called "No More Mr Nice Guy" written by a psychologist Robert Glover (I suggest you get this book if you serious about helping yourself) Then you need to start pushing your comfort zones and acknowledge that you may fail or be rejected. Go out to be cool with a girl (don't think of the consequence of a relationship or sex). You can only ever be freindshipzoned , politely dismissed or develop a relationship. To help with the convo's, 1) initiating a conversation is the easy part. Say hi, or comment on the situation or environment as a starter. 2) But now, start focusing on how to hold a conversation. The way that worked for me is to be genuinely interested in what she says and listen. But then try build rapport and relate to a similar incident in your life. 3) Escalate. Where most men fall is this most challenging part...1